The root word for “hate” in Romans 9:13 is the Greek verb mise? (Strong’s Exhaustive Concordance #3404). While this word can mean “to detest” or “to persecute,” its primary meaning in this context—and in many other biblical passages—is “to love less,” “to prefer less,” or “to separate from.”

This is the same Greek word Jesus used in Luke 14:26 when instructing disciples to “hate” their own families. By any account this is harsh language. But according to scholars of Koine Greek (the common Greek spoken by the public) mise? does not quite mean hate as we understand the word. Instead, it means “to separate from” or “to prefer less.” Jesus was not telling his followers to hate their own life and family; rather, he was showing us the necessary priorities we must have to be his followers. We have to put our discipleship and service to God above earthly bonds. The true disciple puts Christ ahead of all else in his life, including preserving his own life. The true disciple “prefers less” the earthly to the heavenly allegiances.

Similarly, God chose to prefer Jacob for a specific role in His plan. Before the twins were born, God revealed to Rebekah that “the older will serve the younger,” which was a prophetic statement about the rank and destiny of the two nations that would descend from them. God did not “hate” Esau before he was born; rather, He determined their respective roles in the lineage of the promised seed.

The statement “Esau I hated” in Romans is a quotation from Malachi 1:2-3, written many generations after Esau lived. This “hatred” refers to the divine disfavor and consequences resulting from Esau’s lifelong choices—he was a profane and godless individual who despised his spiritual birthright for a single meal and allowed a “root of bitterness” to corrupt his character. 

Esau did not properly value his birthright and sold it to Jacob who desired God’s chief blessing meant for the firstborn. (Heb.12:16) The consequence was more of God’s love and favor given to Jacob. Less love and favor was Esau’s portion. 

The birthright blessing continued through Jacob to his sons who became the nation of Israel. “You (Israel) only have I known of all the families of the earth.” (Amos 3:2) Yet God did give Esau a blessing. God told Israel in Deuteronomy 2:4-7, “You are about to cross the border of your relatives the descendants of Esau, who inhabit Seir. . . Do not be hostile toward them, because I am not giving you any of their land, not even a footprint, for I have given Mount Seir as an inheritance for Esau.”

By the time Malachi was written, the “hatred” was manifest in the desolation of the mountains and inheritance of Esau’s descendants (the Edomites) as a just consequence of their historical hostility toward God’s people.

In summary, God “hating” Esau means that he was passed over for the primary blessing due to God’s sovereign choice of Jacob, and he eventually suffered the natural consequences of his own godless and bitter heart.

Actions have consequences. It is entirely proper for God to discontinue favors to those who would not use them and to extend them to others who will. This is not a violation of God’s divine love, but a wise and loving response.  

Ultimately, in Christ’s kingdom, Esau and his family will be blessed through Israel. God said to Jacob, “In you and in your seed all the families of the earth shall be blessed” (Genesis 28:14). The abundance of God’s love provides for Esau’s family while rewarding Jacob’s family for his exceptional faith and loyalty. 

Wise parents know that they are not always at liberty to show love in a way pleasing to the child. Wise parents raise their child with discipline. Sometimes love means withholding or removing a blessing until the child is trained and experienced enough to benefit.  In a very small way, this is an example of why God has a due time (1 Timothy 2:6) to reveal the fullness of His perfect love after he “judges the world in righteousness” (Acts 17:31). God’s righteous judgment is the tool needed so that each of us “grow up.” Then, the fullness of God’s gifts of love will be fully appreciated.    

God’s perfect love promises salvation to Esau and his family and to all mankind. “Saviors shall go up to Mount Zion to rule Mount Esau, and the kingdom shall be the LORD’s” (Obadiah 1:21). The Lord has arranged in His plan of salvation a time and a way when everyone will be delivered and God’s love fully revealed (Isaiah 35:8-10). “Behold, the tabernacle of God is with men, and He will dwell with them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself shall be with them, and be their God” (Revelation 21:3-5).

Additional Resource:
Christian Questions Podcast
Episode #1245: “Is God REALLY Omnipotent?”
Defining God’s favoritism and His being all-powerful and all-knowing
Preview Video
CQ Rewind Show Notes