The gay and lesbian communities are very familiar with the Christian, biblical position on homosexual relationships. Your son doubtless knows you cannot condone homosexual practices. What should a parent say to his gay child?
Whether a sin seems large, like murder, or a sin seems small, like a white lie, the wages of any sin is death (Romans 6:23). Do my family members choose to confront most or some of my sins? Not usually. If they did, a great percentage of our communications would be about my sins and their sins. No, they know I am aware of my faults. They also know God is working in me to help me. (Philippians 2:13) God is the one who softens our hearts to see, to repent, and to work on our sinful tendencies.
When would Jesus confront a sinner with his sins? Would he require repentance before he healed him? John 5 records the story of the crippled man waiting by the pool of Bethesda. Jesus healed him and the man immediately began walking. A short time later, “Jesus found him in the Temple and told him, ‘Now you are well; so stop sinning, or something even worse may happen to you.’” It was after the man was healed that Jesus cautioned him.
When a person is open to hearing a reproof, that is the time to offer wise words. Otherwise, unsolicited counsel offered to a closed heart/mind tends to generate anger. “Reprove not a scorner, lest he hate thee: reprove a wise man, and he will love thee.” (Proverbs 9:8) Timing is critical to any conversation. Jesus said, “I have yet many things to say unto you, but ye cannot bear them now.” (John 16:12)
So, how might a parent relate to his son practicing homosexuality? We would try to follow Jesus’ example in the way he related to sinners. First, Jesus maintained his own sinless life and was a shining example of righteousness. Additionally, his love would draw sinners to him. They knew his compassion, forgiveness and grace. If it is possible, we would maintain a grace-based relationship, but within your home, not permit behavioral immorality. Furthermore, we would avoid engaging in activities with your son which support homosexuality. Where you draw the lines depends on you. It is a very personal decision. Romans 12:18, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” However, it is critically important for you to maintain a clear conscience with God and man.
Finally, ask God for wisdom, patience, and strength. The Christian grace of long-suffering is only developed by experiencing long-suffering. This sounds like it may become a very painful and long-lasting trial. But Jesus has promised, “I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper…” Hebrews 13:5, 6.
