This is such a painful experience. When a married couple cannot even talk, there are deep wounds, anger, and sorrows for both people. Sadly, there are many reasons marriages fall apart: adultery, drinking, gambling, domestic violence, bitterness, the occult, etc. Sin is a part of our fallen nature and a strong, deceptive influence from this present, evil world. Many times it is wise for the two people to separate. Their lives calm down and are more peaceful. Individually, each can live a healthier life. However, the question of divorce is a different issue.
Our Lord stated that adultery and fornication are the only grounds for divorce (Matthew 19). So, even though you have not spoken in ten years and live apart, in God's eyes you are still bound to one another.
Abigail is a good example of a woman who remained in a dysfunctional marriage. When King David asked a wealthy estate owner, Nabal, for food for himself and his men, Nabal flatly refused. David was enraged and he declared he would kill all of the men in Nabal’s family as well as all of his male employees. Nabal’s wife, Abagail, was shocked by Nabal’s selfish, arrogant behavior, and she immediately prepared a large quantity of food. Then she rushed to meet David, prostrated herself at his feet, apologized for her husband, and delivered the rations. David forgave Nabal and did not slaughter the household. Within hours, Nabal died, and David took Abigail for his wife. (See 1 Samuel 25 for the full story.)
Whether or not we receive such blessed relief from our trials resides in God’s hands. Some will need to wait for their reward until the resurrection. However, we must always obey God and trust Him to direct our paths.
Today, we recognize that no one person (or our spouse) can meet all of our emotional, social, financial, or physical needs. Even in good marriages, spouses have individual close friends, engage in fulfilling jobs, and find blessings in all of life. You do not need to be lonely. There are many fine people with whom you can share your life. If you are struggling, perhaps talking to a good Christian counselor may help you work through this grievous experience. Sometimes, people have even been able to restore their marriages. Ask God for help; He is always near to give wisdom and comfort.
