Forbearance, Forgiveness and Spiritual Balance

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Short Summary
The discourse explores the biblical foundations of forgiveness, emphasizing that true forgiveness involves “sending away” the offense from one’s heart rather than removing divine consequences, and is deeply connected to forbearance—defined as sanctified self-restraint rooted in the Spirit. Using Jesus’ teachings and the parable of the unforgiving servant, it highlights that forgiveness must be accompanied by mercy and patience, and warns of serious spiritual consequences for withholding forgiveness. The speaker also shares a personal testimony illustrating how practicing forbearance and forgiveness can lead to healing from profound pain and emphasizes that this process requires humility, ongoing effort, and reliance on God’s grace.

Long Summary
Detailed Summary of the Discourse: “Forbearance, Forgiveness and Spiritual Balance”

Introduction to Forgiveness as a Complex, Emotional Topic
– Forgiveness is a significant and emotional subject with clear scriptural foundations.
– The discourse seeks to explore how forgiveness works biblically, while also addressing emotional responses from personal experiences (being hurt or hurting others).
– Key questions addressed: Do we harbor resentment, anger, jealousy, contempt, fear, or uncertainty? How should we handle these feelings?

Two Teachings of Jesus on Forgiveness: Apparent Contradiction
– Matthew 18:21-22: Peter asks Jesus how many times to forgive a brother—up to seven times? Jesus replies “not seven, but seventy times seven” (490 times), indicating limitless forgiveness.
– Luke 17:3-4: Jesus says to rebuke a sinning brother, forgive if he repents, and even if he sins against you seven times in a day but repents each time, forgive him.
– These two teachings seem contradictory: unconditional forgiveness vs. forgiveness contingent on repentance.
– The discourse explains that these represent two aspects of the same lesson about forgiveness.

Biblical Words for Forgiveness in the New Testament
– Four key Greek words related to forgiveness are outlined:
1. Strong’s #5483: Means “favor” or having a big heart; not directly about removing sin. Example: Philippians 1:29 (a magnanimous gift).
2. A second word (not specifically numbered here): Means to free, relieve, release, dismiss; used occasionally for forgiveness. Example: Luke 6:37 (“Forgive, and you shall be forgiven”).
3. Strong’s #859: Means freedom or pardon; relates only to divine forgiveness via Jesus’ sacrifice, never human-to-human forgiveness. Example: Ephesians 1:7, Romans 5:18 (justification by righteousness).
4. Strong’s #863: Means “to send away” or “send forth”; used for human forgiveness of one another and Jesus forgiving sins (not the divine pardon). This is the primary word the discourse focuses on.
– Key point: Human forgiveness (“sending away” the sin) does not remove godly consequences but removes the sin from our minds and daily actions, leaving judgment to God.

Forgiveness and Forbearance Defined and Connected
– Forgiveness means to “send away” the sin from our thoughts and hearts, not to cancel the divine consequences for the offender.
– Forbearance is a specific kind of patience described as “sanctified self-restraint” — restraint from the inside out.
– Three New Testament words for patience are distinguished:
1. Being appropriate and non-reactive (Strong’s #1933), like God’s patience.
2. Endurance (Strong’s #5281), carrying heavy burdens cheerfully (Jesus’ teaching in Luke 21:19).
3. Forbearance (Strong’s #5303), meaning longanimity, fortitude, restraint; a fruit of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23).
– Forbearance equated to sanctified self-restraint, which helps in forgiving others by holding back reactive demands or feelings.

The Parable of the Unmerciful Servant (Matthew 18:23-35) Explaining Forgiveness and Forbearance
– Context: Matthew 18 teaches how to resolve conflicts among brethren (Matthew 18:15-16).
– Jesus’ teaching on forgiving “seventy times seven” is not about counting but about a continual forgiving attitude.
– The parable: A servant owes an impossible debt (10,000 talents, millions in today’s money). Unable to pay, he pleads for forbearance (“Have patience with me, and I will repay”). The master has compassion and forgives (sends away) the debt.
– Key insight: This forgiveness is a model of sanctified self-restraint, mercy, and compassion, not a picture of the ransom for sin.
– The servant then refuses mercy to a fellow servant who owes him a small amount, showing harshness and lack of forbearance.
– Result: The master condemns the unforgiving servant, illustrating the spiritual principle that we must forgive others as we have been forgiven (Matthew 18:35).
– Jesus warns that God will deal similarly with those who do not forgive from the heart.

Mercy, Forbearance, and Forgiveness Linked
– Mercy involves withholding what is rightfully owed—holding back judgment or punishment (forbearance).
– The call to follow Christ is described as mercy, forgiveness, and grace in action—in that order.
– Jesus contrasts His mercy with the harshness of the Pharisees and religious leaders who lacked compassion (Matthew 9:10-13).
– Forgiveness without mercy/forbearance is incomplete.

Practical Application of Forgiveness and Forbearance
– Forgiveness demands sanctified self-restraint (forbearance), which enables us to send away sins from our minds and cease to hold grudges.
– We must be proactive: Luke 17:3-4 stresses rebuking a brother who sins and forgiving if he repents, even repeatedly.
– Repentance involves genuine moral change, not just words.
– The responsibility to address sin starts with the offended party, who must approach the offender to resolve the issue, avoiding secret grudges.
– Admonishing must be done with gentleness, humility, and Christlike spirit, avoiding arrogance or harshness.

Sanctified Self-Restraint Beyond Forgiveness
– Forbearance is essential to Christian living and unity.
– 1 Thessalonians 5:14-15 urges believers to admonish, encourage, help the weak, and be patient (forbearing) with everyone—not repaying evil for evil.
– Ephesians 4:1-6 teaches walking worthy of Christian calling with humility, gentleness, and forbearance (sanctified self-restraint), preserving unity and peace in the Spirit.
– Forgiveness and forbearance contribute directly to maintaining the unity of the body of Christ.

The Lord’s Prayer and Forgiveness (Matthew 6:9-15)
– Jesus teaches to pray for forgiveness of debts (sins) as we forgive others.
– A direct correlation exists: if we forgive others, God forgives us; if we do not, God will not forgive us.
– Forgiveness is both a divine gift and a human responsibility grounded in agape love.

Love and Forbearance: 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
– Love is patient (forbearing), kind, not jealous or arrogant, does not seek its own, and is not easily provoked.
– Love bears, believes, hopes, and endures all things—rooted in sanctified self-restraint.

Personal Illustration of Forgiveness and Forbearance
– The speaker shares a family experience: their daughter was raped multiple times as a teenager, a deeply traumatic event.
– Through God’s grace and sanctified self-restraint, the family navigated the pain and trauma.
– The daughter is preparing to publish a book about her experiences and healing, emphasizing real forgiveness.
– Forgiveness is described as “stopping feeling angry or resentful,” not condoning or forgetting the offense or releasing accountability.
– Forgiveness is releasing the power the offender has over one’s emotions and thoughts—no longer allowing them to control self-worth or feelings.
– This real-life example illustrates the practical power of forbearance and forgiveness through God’s grace.

Final Exhortation
– Forgiveness is challenging and requires working on developing sanctified self-restraint.
– Christians are called to send away sins from their hearts, give mercy through forbearance, and live in spiritual balance.
– The speaker encourages self-examination, humility, and reliance on God’s spirit to grow in these qualities.
– May God bless those who pursue this path of mercy, forgiveness, and sanctified self-restraint.

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Key Bible Verses Mentioned:

– *Matthew 18:21-22* — Forgive not seven times, but seventy times seven.
– *Luke 17:3-4* — Rebuke sinning brother; forgive if he repents even repeatedly.
– *Philippians 1:29* — Example of “favor” (forgiveness word #1).
– *Luke 6:37* — Judge not; forgive and you will be forgiven.
– *Ephesians 1:7* — Redemption and forgiveness of sins through Jesus’ blood.
– *Romans 5:18* — Justification of life through one act of righteousness.
– *Galatians 5:22-23* — Fruit of the Spirit includes forbearance (patience).
– *Luke 21:19* — Endurance in patience is essential for discipleship.
– *Matthew 18:15-16* — Procedure for confronting a sinning brother.
– *Matthew 18:23-35* — Parable of the unforgiving servant illustrating forgiveness, mercy, and forbearance.
– *1 Peter 1:3* — God’s mercy begot us to a living hope.
– *Matthew 9:10-13* — Jesus teaches mercy, not sacrifice; calls sinners, not the righteous.
– *1 Thessalonians 5:14-15* — Admonish, encourage, help, and be patient (forbearing) with all.
– *Ephesians 4:1-6* — Walk worthy with humility, gentleness, patience (forbearance), and love to preserve unity.
– *Matthew 6:9-15* — Lord’s Prayer linking our forgiveness with God’s forgiveness.
– *1 Corinthians 13:4-7* — Love is patient (forbearing), kind, and enduring.

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This discourse deeply explores forgiveness as a spiritual discipline involving sanctified self-restraint (forbearance) and mercy, supported by scriptural teachings and illustrated with a powerful real-life testimony. It challenges believers to live out forgiveness not just as a feeling but as a deliberate, Spirit-empowered practice essential to Christian unity and spiritual balance.

Transcript

Our comments for this afternoon are entitled Forbearance, Forgiveness and Spiritual Balance. Forbearance, Forgiveness and Spiritual Balance. Forgiveness is a big topic, and like it or not, it’s a very emotional topic. Today’s thoughts we’re going to look into the very clear scriptural basis for how forgiveness works, and as we do this, we’re going to also address working through the feelings that we may have about our own personal experiences.

Have we been hurt by another? Have we hurt someone? Do we in any circumstances harbor resentment or anger or jealousy or contempt or fear or uncertainty? Where do we stand with those things, and how should we handle all of this? So I’m sure you’ve heard many discourses on forgiveness, and I’m sure that they’ve covered the basis.

And what we’re going to suggest is in this afternoon is just combining two things that I don’t know that we talk about as much together as perhaps might be helpful, and that’s kind of the theme behind these comments. So we’re going to begin by introducing two teachings of Jesus regarding forgiveness that on the surface they seem to be contradictory, and I got to say, just okay, just before we get started that the study earlier on subject Pure Heart. Yes, thank you.

Was really a really wonderful introduction to these comments this afternoon. So I thank Brother Comey for picking that subject. He said he had gone through several subjects before he got to that one and just happened to be right in line with introducing this. So thank you, brother, for that, and also near the end of that study, Brother Brendan actually brought up a scripture, which is the first scripture we’re beginning with.

So it really is like we’re picking up where we left off. We’re going to talk about two teachings of Jesus regarding forgiveness that on the surface seem to be contradictory. Matthew 18:21 and 22 is where we begin. Matthew 18:21 and 22. Then Peter came and said to him, lord, how often shall my brother sin against me?

And I forgive him up to seven times, and Jesus said to him, I do not say it to you up to seven times, but up to 70 times seven. So the question is, okay, are we supposed to just forgive because we’re supposed to be forgiving? Or let’s look at Luke 17, verses 3 and 4. Luke 17, 3 and 4.

Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times in a day and returns to you seven times saying, I repent, forgive him. So with this scripture, if we took this and isolated it. Are we only supposed to forgive when our brother repents?

Because you have two seemingly different approaches here, we will see that these two approaches are two aspects of the same fundamental lesson. So to get started with forgiveness, I just want to take two or three minutes and lay out some basic background or foundation for the word. There are four key New Testament words regarding forgiveness in the New Testament. Now, it’s important that we know that there’s four, and it’s important that we know which one we’re talking about here. First word, strong number 5483, means favor.

It’s broadly used in the sense of having a big heart, not in taking away sins. It’s occasionally interpreted or translated as forgiveness. One example of this having a big heart is Philippians 1:29. For unto you it is given. That’s the word.

It is given in behalf of Christ, not only to believe on him, but to also suffer for his sake. So it is a magnanimous, magnanimous gift. A second word for forgiveness in the New Testament means to free, to relieve, to release, to dismiss, and so forth, and it is broadly used in the New Testament, but it’s rarely translated forgiveness. Occasionally it is, and again, it means to free, to relieve, or to release.

And one of those occasions is Luke 6:37, and it says, judge not, and you shall not be judged. Condemn not, and you shall not be condemned. Forgive, and you shall be forgiven. So it means to free, relieve, release, dismiss. That’s a word that sometimes is used for forgiveness, the third word for forgiveness in the New Testament.

And we’re going very quickly through this because this is just round work, and this is the last two words are really the most important. This third word literally means freedom or pardon. Are we having troubles?

Okay, okay. As long as it’s the battery, not the speaker, we’ll be good.

So this third word means freedom or pardon. Now, this word is never used in connection with us forgiving one another, ever. This only relates to the pardon granted through Jesus sacrifice, which is the big picture of the ransom being paid for all. So when we see this word, Strong’s number 859, that word is reserved for for a forgiveness that we do not have the capacity to give the freedom or pardon. Ephesians 1:7 is a good example here, in whom we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins according to the riches of his grace.

And when we see that word, forgiveness of sins, this is not just saying it’s okay. This is the freedom from the pardon from sins. Romans 5:18 tells us so. Then as through one transgression there resulted condemnation to all men. Even so, through one act of righteousness, there resulted justification of life to men.

That justification is the result of that forgiveness. We can’t give that one to another. We are not capable because this is God’s universe. Having said all of that, just touched on those three words. The fourth word for forgiveness that we’re going to park ourselves on and work with is Strong’s number 18, I’m sorry number 863, forgive.

It means to send forth or to send away. To send away. In various applications, this word is very broadly used to describe and cover godly and human forgiveness. It’s this word that most clearly reflects our forgiveness for one another and is often used regarding Jesus forgiving others sins. When Jesus would say he’d heal somebody and say, your sins are forgiven, he wasn’t using the word for pardon.

He’s saying, your sins are being sent away from you, and there’s a big difference between those two things, and that is the word that’s used in the Matthew 18:21 scripture when Peter says in how often should I forgive my brother? So the word means to send forth or send away. So let’s sit on that for a moment and let’s expand what that means.

This is the forgiveness that we need to personally focus on the sending away of another’s sins from us. While this forgiveness, this kind of forgiveness does not release that person who ascend from godly consequences. Okay? It does not release the person who has sinned from godly consequences. It does release their sin from being in the forefront of our minds.

It’s a big difference between those two things. So when we are talking about learning to forgive one another, we have no authority to be taking godly consequences to say, I hereby declare godly consequences are removed from you because I’m forgiving you your sins. That’s not what it means at all. It means that we are taking the consequences of their sin against us and pushing it away from us. It’s no longer in front of us.

This forgiveness means their sin will no longer be relevant to our daily action. It has been turned over to God through Christ to be handled in God’s time. Reminded of our study on Jude last night, and remember, Michael the Archangel did not do anything in relation to judgment. The Lord rebuke you.

That’s what we’re looking at. That’s the kind of level we’re looking at. We don’t touch that. We don’t need to. We’re not supposed to touch that.

So when we’re talking about forgiving one another, let me do a quick survey. How many of you have ever sinned against your brother or sister? Yeah. How many of you have ever had a brother or sister sin against you? Yeah.

Common.

Now what do we do with it? See, how do we do this sending away? How do we make it so whatever that sin was is not always stuck in front of our face? Fortunately, the scriptures give us a very specific course of action, a way to deal with this. This course of action is built upon the other word in our title.

It’s built upon forbearance, which is a very specific kind of patience. So I’m going to take another few minutes, just another two minutes here, three minutes. Because there’s actually three kinds of patients in the New Testament, I just want to lay each one out because it’s important to understand which kind of patients this is and which kind of patients this isn’t. The first approach to patients, New Testament is to means. The word means to be appropriate, not reactive.

It’s Strong’s number 1933. It’s a good example for parenting. Being appropriate, not reactive. God’s patience is the highest model for our patience. Remember, the word means appropriate and not reactive.

James 3:17. But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, then gentle. That’s that word for being appropriate. God’s wisdom from above is appropriate, easy to be entreated, full of mercy and of good fruits, without partiality, without hypocrisy. So that’s the first word we’re not going to be dealing with, that I just want to lay out because we read all these scriptures that say patience.

And I don’t know about you, but in my head I read it and I think, okay, patience. I know what that is. Well, do I? Because there are three very different meanings. The second approach to patience, this is the one we’re most familiar with.

It’s the most common. It is deep, sound, powerful, endurance. 5000, 281 is the strongest number. Cheerful, hopeful, endurance. This is endurance.

This is being, carrying the weight and being willing to take the next step as you are burdened way down with the weight of the experience. It’s that this is what we’re so familiar with and this is the kind of patience that we really work at developing. Jesus teaches us this kind of patience is broadly, is broad and absolutely necessary for discipleship. He thinks it’s so important that here’s what he said in Luke 21:19. These are the words of Jesus, in your patience, in your endurance, possess ye your souls.

Now, that should get our attention. That’s not the patience we’re going to talk about. But I just want you to give your attention there, because that is such an important thing. The third word for patience in the New Testament focuses us on appropriately handling things that require restraint from the inside out, and if you’re taking notes, write this down.

Restraint from the inside out. I’m going to expand on that. This is a good big part of this lesson. Forbearance is restraint from the inside out. Let’s look at one use of this word for patience that can.

And the first time I discovered it personally, it was surprising to me. Let’s look at Galatians, Chapter 5, 22 and 23. Fruit of the Spirit. We all know the fruit of the Spirit, right? Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control.

Against these things there is no law, and then we move on. Let me read it again. The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self control. Against such there is no law.

Forbearance is called a fruit of the spirit. That’s the word for patience. So this, when you’re talking about the fruit of the spirit, what are you talking about? Something that has developed as a result of God’s spirit dwelling within you. It is the fruitage of that spirit dwelling there.

So the kind of forbearance we’re talking about comes from God’s spirit developing in you. That’s what it comes from. This word means longanimity, fortitude, long, enduring. There’s all kinds of. In other words, let me just give you an example of what forbearance is from a legal perspective.

Okay? From a legal perspective, when a loan, a financial loan is in forbearance, it means that you don’t have to make payments or you can temporarily make smaller payments. Now, what happens if a loan is in forbearance? When Covid happened, many mortgages went into forbearance. The mortgage companies agreed because people are out of work.

We’re not going to make them pay their loans. We’re going to hold off, and then once the forbearance period is over, we’re going to pick up again. Didn’t mean they shouldn’t pay their loans, but they said, we’re just not going to make them pay. The loan holds back on its legal and required payment schedule.

Now, taking advantage of that is convenient, but you’re still going to have to pay the loan back. So forbearance is holding back something that you should have or you think you should have. This is important in relation to forgiveness, and we’re going to see how this unfolds and the two are put into in together in Scripture very, very clearly. So when we talk about forbearance moving forward in relation to forgiveness, which is that sending away of the sin, we’re going to talk about this and we’re going to call it, instead of calling it forbearance, what we’re going to call it is sanctified self restraint. That’s our adoptive description, sanctified self restraint.

Sanctified, why? Because it’s a fruit of the Spirit self restraint. Because that is what forbearance is, sanctified self restraint. With all of that said, we’ve defined the kind of forgiveness we’re talking about. We’re looking at the kind of what forbearance really means.

Now let’s get practical. Let’s go back to the context of our first scripture about forgiving 70 times 7. Interesting thing about that, that, that teaching of forgiving 70 times 7. It’s in the context of what we always call Matthew 18, and when you say Matthew 18 to one of the brethren, everybody knows what we’re talking about, right?

Oh, It’s a Matthew 18 circumstance, and we automatically go to that specific part of Matthew 18. This is in that context, Matthew 18, 15, 16, and these are a few verses before Peter asks the question. In Matthew 18:15 to 16, if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private.

If he listens to you, you have one your brother. But if he doesn’t listen to you, take one or two more with you so that by the mouth of two or more witnesses, every fact may be confirmed. Now, the first thing I want to bring mention of here in this Matthew 18, it says, if your brother sins, go and show him his fault in private. The words against thee are actually supplied and not in original manuscript. I just want to bring that point out.

We’ll come back to that later. In this Matthew 18 verse, Jesus is teaching us what true agape love looks like here. He’s letting us know that the issues we have between us within the brotherhood are important to resolve. They’re important to resolve. That’s why he teaches this.

It’s for the purpose of resolving things. After this quote unquote, Matthew 18 teaching, we go to our first text where Peter asked Jesus how many times we are to forgive our brother. So we’ve got this as the baseline. That’s the general context. A few verses later, Peter says, we’re back to Matthew 18:21 and 22.

Peter said to him, lord, how often shall my brother sin against me? And I forgive. Send the sin away from me up to seven times, and Jesus answers, no, 70 times seven, and if you’re counting to get up to 490, you’ve missed the point.

Okay, it’s a matter of understanding. Jesus is saying, this is a basic command. So what’s he saying? What’s he saying? Is Jesus saying, just, just forgive.

Don’t even think about it. Just forgive. I believe what he’s doing. I believe what Jesus is doing is he’s teaching us that we should have a forgiving attitude. We should live with a forgiving heart attitude.

Blessed are the pure in heart. Remember that. Just saying. Which will in turn make the challenge of forgiveness less ominous. Not going to ask for a raising of hands, but how many of you have had at one point or another in your lives, difficulty forgiving?

Don’t raise your hands, but think about that. Jesus puts this here to help us with that.

So he says it, and oftentimes we stop our discussion about that and we talk about the 490 times, and that’s the end of it. Maybe we should read the next verse, because in the next verse Jesus sees this principle as so important, he’s going to develop an entire teaching around it. He says in the next words in Matthew 18:23, for this reason, depending on the translation, therefore, because I said that, however you want to put it, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wishes to settle accounts with his bond servants. So Jesus, right after saying 70 times 7, the next phrase is, therefore, I’m going to tell you a story to illustrate what I mean. This is where forbearance becomes the key factor in having forgiveness work.

So we’re going to follow through with this parable for this reason, he’s setting up Peter and the apostles not only to learn about forgiveness, but, as we will see, to understand mercy and forbearance as well. The upcoming parable accentuates the 70 times 7 command. Now we know that the kingdom of heaven describes the phrase that describes the context in which the true church is developed. Jesus unfolds the drama of this parable with an amazingly oversized problem, and Jesus was good at that.

He would tell a story that you look at and say, well, that’s pretty crazy. That’s what gets the attention. Here’s how he starts the story. He says, for this reason the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle his accounts, and then he goes on in verse 24, when this king had begun to settle them, one who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him.

Now this is an impossible sum of millions and millions of dollars in today’s. In today’s. Today’s dollar. So you’re looking at this and saying, oh, this isn’t going to end well, because he’s got this one servant who owes him millions upon millions, and he’s settling all these accounts, and it’s this servant’s turn. So the drama of Jesus story now begins to get serious.

We’re going to Matthew 18. Now 25 to 27. So he, so he. So I’m sorry, 18, 24, you know, he. I’m just repeating it.

He’d begun to settle them. One who owed him 10,000 talents was brought to him, and now 1825-27. But since he, that servant did not have the means to repay his Lord, the Lord commanded him to be sold along with his wife and his children and all that he had, and repayment to be made. So there’s a penalty.

Because you owe all this money and you haven’t paid it back, you’re going to prison. Incidentally, rightfully so. Verse 26. So the slave, the bondservant, fell to the ground and prostrated himself before him, saying, have patience with me and I will repay you everything. Let’s pause a second.

Have patience. Forbearance, please forbear. That is in this parable, what this servant is pleading for. Have forbearance with me, and I will repay you everything, and the Lord of that slave felt compassion, which means sympathy or pity, and he released him and he forgave.

Same word that we’re talking about. He sent the sin away. He sent the, the obligation away from him, and he forgave him that debt, that loan. This is the model of sanctified self restraint that Jesus is introducing, and he’s introducing it inside of this parable. So now let’s pause for a moment.

Let’s get the meaning straight, because this is not about forgiving the Adamic sin in somebody, okay? That’s not what this parable is teaching here. Brother Russell in reprint 2667 suggests this. Reprint 2667. This suggests to us that our sins are not blotted out, but merely covered, okay?

In other words, the sin is being sent away, our sins are covered from the Lord’s sight, and we are treated as though we Owed him nothing by his grace, exercised through Christ in his imputed merit. Atoning sacrifice. This reckoned forgiveness will be made actual by and by, and the debt canceled entirely.

We shall prove faithful and become copies of Jesus forgiving others as we would be forgiven by the Lord. So this is not about us being bought back in the, in the ransom scenario. This is not about the acquittal. This is about the sending away of our guilt before the Lord, and in the parable, the Master forbears.

Didn’t have to, but he does. He forbears and he lets it go. So forbearance, sanctified self restraint is a willingness to be non reactive and appropriate. It’s a willingness to be non reactive and appropriate. It’s willing to wait for a situation to completely unfold.

It’s a willingness to be disciplined in holding back what we feel, what we sometimes think we rightfully can and should demand. This is what forbearance is. It’s the capacity to put those things on hold, to back them up.

This patience gives the benefit of the doubt and can only be displayed by humanity through a humble spirit. Blessed are the poor in heart for they shall see God keep coming back to that. That’s not part of my original notes, but understand that’s where we’re going with all of this. These things, these lessons tied together so, so, so beautifully. So in this parable, the Master, who has every right to throw the servant in prison, doesn’t he holds back and he forgives him.

And we understand, and I keep repeating this part because I want to make sure it’s clear this is not about the ransom. The ransom’s not being pictured here. It’s the being invited into the body of Christ and having our sinfulness put aside by our heavenly Father. Jesus is showing the magnitude of God’s mercy here.

That’s what he’s showing, and we’re going to see that come out in the parable later. I want to comment on it first, though. We’re reminded of God’s mercy in many, many, many scriptures. First Peter, chapter one, verse three.

Just one, one example. Quickly. Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. This is the Weymouth translation, incidentally, who in his great mercy has begotten us anew to an ever living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ, we’ve been begotten in mercy. How does this mercy work anyway?

How does God’s mercy work in our lives? Well, it’s activated through forbearance. We just saw the example of that in the parable, the master was rightfully owed the debt, and the servant was rightfully responsible for the debt. Pleading for mercy is pleading for forbearance, because wherever there is mercy, there is forbearance. Think about it.

In any circumstance, if somebody’s going to have mercy, what that means is they’re going to hold something back that they could have done. Let this sink in. The call to follow Christ is mercy, forgiveness, and grace in action, in that order. The call to follow Christ, I’m going to say it again, is mercy, forgiveness, and grace in action. That’s how the call to Christ actually works.

Jesus continues the drama of the story and brings home mercy’s place by showing the inconsistency of receiving mercy without passing it on. So he’s not just going to illustrate for us the magnitude of. Of mercy that we have been given, but he’s now going to illustrate the inconsistency of being a recipient of such great mercy and not passing it on, and you know what part of the parable we’re getting to? Matthew 18:25 to 20 or 20.

28 to 30. I’m sorry, 28 to 30. But that slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves. Now, he had just been forgiven. There was great mercy, great forbearance.

That slave went out and found one of his fellow slaves who owed him a hundred denarii pocket change, and he seized him and began to choke him, saying, pay back what you owe.

He began to choke him.

So the fellow slave fell down to the ground. They began to plead with him and said, have patience, have forbearance with me and I will repay you.

But he was unwilling, and he went and he threw him in prison until he should pay back what he owed. What did the fellow servant say? Please, forbear. Please, Please don’t demand it of me this second. Please, I’m begging you.

It’s pretty dramatic. Why the drama? Jesus knew that the spiritual examples that his followers had were grossly lacking in mercy. He knew that the context of his followers was the teaching of the scribes and the Pharisees, and they did not have mercy on the average person, and so Jesus is teaching this parable with this great depth, and he’s illustrating to them, this is something you haven’t seen in your life.

I want you to see it because you’re following me. This next scripture off of the parable for a moment takes place just after Jesus called Matthew the tax collector to follow him, just as an illustration of that point. Matthew 9, 10, 13. Many tax collectors and sinners came and were dining with Jesus and his disciples, and when the Pharisees saw this, they said to his disciples, why is your teacher eating and teaching with tax collectors and sinners?

But when Jesus heard this, he said, it is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick. Then he says to the Pharisees, but go and learn what this means. I desire compassion. It’s a word for mercy. I desire compassion, not sacrifice, for I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners.

Jesus lived in the context of religious leadership being hard and essentially cruel to those that they were above, and he was teaching his followers, this is not what you’re called to. You’re called far beyond anything that you have seen before. This. I won’t get into the words for mercy, but the concept very much is to have great compassion.

So we’ve got. I think one of the reasons that Jesus makes this such a dramatic story, because they don’t know. They don’t know anything but that hard line. Toe the mark, live to the letter of the perceived law, and so forth and so on. So now let’s go back to the parable.

The drama moves into its conclusion stage, and the conclusion isn’t very happy, and you think, wouldn’t Jesus end this with a happy ending? And the answer is no. Why? Because they needed to hear the stark reality.

Back to the parable. Matthew 18:31. 33. So when his fellow slaves saw what had happened, they were deeply grieved and they came and reported to their Lord all that had happened. So, pause there.

Others observe, and they report back to the Lord. This is what happened. 32 Then, summoning him, his Lord said to him, you wicked slave, I forgave you. I sent away all that you owed me from before my face so that I would not think about it in relation to you anymore. I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.

Should you not also have had mercy on your fellow slave in the same way that I had mercy on you? So, brethren, in this parable, the three elements that just jump out, there’s forbearance, there’s mercy, and there’s forgiveness. For us to understand how forgiveness truly works, I think this parable helps us put it all in order, and this is the core lesson of this particular parable. Jesus is teaching us that forgiveness cannot possibly be complete without mercy, and that mercy is born out of forbearance.

Self restraint goes into play. Mercy is a result which can bring forgiveness. You see how Jesus laid It out in the parable. Master, do I have to forgive my brother seven times? No, 70 times seven.

Let me tell you a story to illustrate, and this is the story. This is the depth of our responsibility to true, true forgiveness.

Sanctified self restraint. It’s an obligation for any new creature in Christ. It’s an obligation. We must work at developing sanctified self restraint. Now, this lesson was taught by Jesus in many different ways.

This parable adds the serious consequences of violating the sacred charge. We’ve been given to be like God in forbearance and mercy, and what happens now is, is we go into the final, final stages of the parable and the final, final, final lesson here in Matthew 18:34, 35, okay, so he had just called out that slave for not being merciful, for not having forbearance and for not forgiving, and he says, and his lord in Matthew 18:34 and 35, and his Lord moved with anger, handed him over to the prison keepers. Version says torturers as prison keepers until he should repay all that was owed him.

Then in verse 35, Jesus pauses because the story’s over.

And I don’t know this for sure. So this is brother Rick’s opinion, and he looks up at Peter and his disciples and he says, my heavenly Father will also do the same to you if you do not forgive. If each of you do not forgive his brother from your heart.

Let that sink in, brethren. Let that sink in. If we carry grudges along with us, if we carry a remembrance of something and we don’t take the positive actions necessary, are we falling into this category? You got to answer that question for yourself. This is a serious, deep, very, very, very strong teaching.

This unmerciful servant got what he deserved. Essentially.

He was going to choke his fellow servant. He did. It’s beyond me. So we have the parable. Okay, so we’ve put Peter’s question, Jesus answer, and Jesus reasoning behind his answer all on the table.

Next, let’s go back to that second verse. Remember, we had the other one with the repent thing going on, okay? And as we review this verse, let’s remember the powerful lesson of sanctified self restraint being applied in all of our interactions, and incidentally, as we go through this, one of the things that’s really important is when we go through and we think about, we look at these lessons that we don’t look at this and say, I hope brother so and so is listening to this. It’s not about brother so and so or sister so and so.

Or such and such an ecclesia. You know who it’s about Me. That’s the only one it’s about. That’s the only one I have the authority to look at this circumstance and apply it to. So let’s be clear as we move forward.

That’s the message. It’s about me and nobody else. Now Back to Luke 17, 3, 4. Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents.

And incidentally, that word for repent means to have moral compunction. It does mean to change direction. So this is a repentance. That’s not just, okay, I’m sorry already, this is a repentance. That means, I’m sorry, I’m changing.

That’s what. That’s what’s being focused on here. If he repents, forgive him, and if he sins against you seven times a day and returns to you seven times saying, I repent, forgive him. All right, well, there’s like.

There’s an inconsistency because if the. If the brother says, I repent and is changing direction and then sins against you again, and he has to say it again, did he really repent? What are you supposed to do with that? What? You said you repented.

Now you’re sinning again and again and again. Enough. Wait. No, no, no. Not enough.

Why does Jesus say it this way? Because he understands the frailty of the human frame, and he knows that sometimes our repentance can be inside but doesn’t show on the outside. Yet it, and he’s telling us unequivocally, you be patient.

You be patient. One with another, be patient.

Notice who started the conversation in this. In this instance, in Luke, it says, if your brother sins, you rebuke him. Okay. That word for rebuke means to tax upon or admonish. I mean, you tell him.

Okay, and again, going back to the scenarios of the study from Jude last evening, the contact of the book of Jude was be aware and be on the alert and work at helping each other. Remember pulling each other out of the fire and helping those who are grieving and sick and wounded and hating the garment that’s been soiled. Be on the side of the brotherhood. So the person starting the conversation here is not the one who sinned, but the one who received the sin.

So let’s think about this. If I think so and so sinned against me, if I don’t do anything and go to that individual and talk to him, then I have no right to have any kind of judgment in My heart whatsoever. No, right. None. Because I didn’t start the conversation.

Let’s be clear. Let’s be clear on our personal responsibility, how do we admonish? Okay, it says admonish him. Well, how do you do that? You can lace into him or you can use what, Sanctified self restraint and explain things.

A spiritually based perspective. Brethren, this using of sanctified self restraint implies an actual conversation, an actual back and forth. How good we are doing this with a Christlike spirit. Is that a strong point of ours? Don’t answer, just think about it.

We need to be focused in on these things. This rebuking must be considered in the context of all of the other teachings of Jesus in regard to Christian character. We are never to lord it over another. So let’s be careful with these things. I want to talk for a few more minutes about sanctified self restraint.

And then at the end, I want to tell you an actual story of forgiveness.

Having forgiveness in mind, the concept of sending the sin away, meaning it’s no longer in front of you. It no longer drives the way you think, what you feel. It no longer drives your everyday life. That’s what true forgiveness looks like. Getting there needs forbearance.

Sanctified self restraint is one of the most important qualities that we should develop as Christians. So now I want to take sanctified self restraint forbearance out of the context of forgiveness for a few minutes. Let’s look at it just standing on its own and how we are implored to have it as part of our lives. First Thessalonians 5, 14, 20 First Thessalonians 5,14, 20. We urge you, brethren, admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weakness.

Be patient with everyone. Oh, wait, that’s not patience. That’s forbearance. That’s the word for forbearance. Have sanctified self restraint with everyone.

Then he goes on, see that no one repays another with evil for evil, but always seek after that which is good for one another and for all people. You can do that verse 15 about no one repaying evil for evil. When you apply sanctified self restraint, it helps to lift you above those things. That’s why that’s the kind of patience that’s there. Rejoice, always pray without ceasing in everything.

Give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus. Do not quench the spirit. Do not despise prophetic utterances. In the middle of all this is sanctified self restraint, and that helps us to not repay evil for evil.

That’s one example. Another example, the Apostle Paul. Now he had just told the Ephesians how deeply he had prayed for them in his imprisonment while dealing with some core belief issues challenging Jewish and Gentile Christian fellowship. There are issues in Ephesus that challenged their core ability to get along with one another. They weren’t doing a good job of it.

So he writes to them in Ephesians chapter 4, verses 1 through 6. This is what the apostle says. Therefore, I, the prisoner of the Lord, implore you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling with which you have been called. Let’s pause right there. I’m imploring you.

I implore you to walk like a disciple of Christ walks. So pause right there. What does that even look like? Well, look at how Jesus walked, looked at the sanctified and we’re not going into this, in this discussion, there’s no time. But look at the sanctified self restraint he used just on the night before and the day of his crucifixion.

You look at that if you want to be inspired as to walk like Jesus walked, and then the apostle continues with all humility and gentleness, putting things in order with patience. Oh wait, that’s not patience. With sanctified self restraint, showing tolerance for one another in agape love, being diligent to preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace. You see how sanctified self restraint in the midst of all of those things in is one of those key factors that can preserve the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

I have to hold myself back. You know, you probably have guessed this. I’m a pretty emotional person and without self restraint, and when I tell you a story in a few minutes, I’ll add a few details about some of the restraint that I had to put in place to even be able to function. It’s too easy to feel justified and to just plow forward.

That’s not what we’re called to do so far in Ephesians 4. Have humility and gentleness be your basis as you restrain yourself from reactive behavior towards those who may question your standing as true Christians. Hold yourself back. Use sanctified self restraint. Then interestingly enough, in verses 4 and 5 it says Ephesians chapter 4, there’s one body and one Spirit, just as you are also called to one hope of your calling.

One Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is overall through all and in all so the conclusion of putting sanctified self restraint in, in. In the context of our lives, along with humility and gentleness and tolerance and agape love, one body. You see the pattern. What it’s telling us is that forbearance is a key factor to the unity of our lives. Brethren, we need to see the depth of what we’re being taught and look in the mirror and say, how am I doing?

How am I doing? Do I hold myself back?

Let’s continue the following words of Jesus. I’m going to go To Matthew chapter 6 to the Lord’s Prayer. Show us how important it is to have a forgiving attitude with everyone. Matthew 6, 9, 15, 10 minutes. Thank you.

Pray then in this way. Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread and forgive. Send away our debts as we forgive.

Send away our debtors, and do not lead us into temptation, but deliver us from evil, and then Jesus says, he doesn’t. That’s the prayer, and then his next words are, if you forgive, send away others for their transgressions.

Your heavenly Father will forgive, send away yours. But if you don’t forgive, send away others. Your Father will not forgive, send away yours. There is a direct correlation between how we treat our brethren and the blessings we see we receive from our Father. Don’t make light of this.

This is a big, big, big connection. Forgive us our debts. Forgive us that which we owe, not money, but our sins and transgressions committed that take us out of balance with God. This forgiveness is applied to us as we apply it to others. Our forgiving, our sending away attitude towards others will influence God’s forgiveness towards us.

Jesus said it multiple times, Last Scripture. This decision should not be a selfishly driven decision, but instead driven by agape love. We saw that in one of the previous scriptures. Forbearance is a defining characteristic of discipleship, and forbearance is also a defining characteristic of selfless love.

Look at First Corinthians 13:4 7 and you know what we’re going to say. First Corinthians 13:4. We all know that verse, right? Love is patient, love is kind, love is not jealous, love does not brag and is not arrogant. Hang on.

Love is full of forbearance. That’s the word. Love has forbearance. It is kind, not jealous, doesn’t brag, doesn’t act unbecomingly. It does not seek its own.

It’s not provoked. It does not take into account a wrong suffered. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Why?

Because the first characteristic of love is it has forbearance, sanctified self restraint.

When we think about forgiveness, brethren, let our hearts and minds go to sanctified self restraint now for the next few minutes and I’ll probably get through this. I’ll tell you a little bit of just a small part of an experience that many of you, most of you probably know that happened to our family. I don’t know, 20 some odd years ago, our youngest daughter was raped when she was 15 years old, more than once, and needless to say, that broke us, and needless to say, that was one of the times in life that I had to really, really learn forbearance.

I won’t tell you what and how, but I will tell you that by God’s grace, he guided me to deal with this whole mess through forbearance. It wasn’t because I was so strong, trust me, because I was a broken individual, but he showed me how forbearance was the way through the experience. Fast forward a lot of years. Our daughter Amy is probably, I don’t know, a week or two away from publishing a book about her experiences because she has grown through them, and in that growing experience, there was a lot of brokenness up front and we worked really hard together as a family.

And it was one of the most difficult times that I have ever experienced. There have been several. That is one of the most difficult ones. So when she decided to write this book, we talked about it and actually I wrote parts of it because we had walked through this experience together, and I want to read you one part of her book because it’s about not forbearance, it was about forgiveness.

But she explains forbearance in this. So let me just read a small part of her book, just a few lines to illustrate the point of forgiveness. It says sometimes went on, and I started to really think about writing this book. I was brainstorming about the main points that I wanted to cover and my dad suggested that I do a section about forgiveness.

We had talked about that for years, and then she writes, this is when it clicked. This is when I made the choice. I looked at where I was in my own healing and looked at forgiveness and what it truly means, quote, to stop feeling angry or resentful towards someone for an offense, flaw or mistake. Unquote.

I looked at what forgiveness does not mean. Condoning one’s actions, releasing one of accountability, deeming it acceptable to happen again, or forgetting Forgiveness means none of those things, even though many of us confuse its meaning with these thoughts. She continues, I looked at the side of forgiveness that is granted to us who hurt, that is granted to those who hurt you in unimaginable ways. The side of forgiveness that many don’t talk about and that fewer accept.

A few lines later, she says, I have found forgiveness in my heart. I released the power of my attackers.

Okay, I can do this. I released the power of my attackers that they had over me. It doesn’t mean that I. That. It does not mean that I think what they did to me is okay.

It means that I no longer hold resentment toward them. In fact, I hold nothing towards them at all. Nothing. They do not occupy my mind uninvited. They have no power.

They do not control my emotions. They do not weigh in on my self worth. I do not think about them or what they did to me unless I choose to do so. They hold nothing over me. I wanted you to hear that because that’s a real life experience of journeying through the mess and the pain and the trauma of something done so terribly, awfully wrong and the possibility that you can come out the other side.

It was by God’s grace that she was delivered through all of that. There’s no question she did the hard, hard, hard work, and we worked hard as a family. But the reason for bringing that story up is to help you understand, brethren, that we in our Christian walk have experiences where things go wrong. We do things to others, whether intentionally or not.

Won’t even get into that. Others do things to us, whether intentionally or not. Does it really matter? But Jesus gives us a standard by which we are to comply. What we are to strive for.

This is not easy. This doesn’t happen overnight. But to work on developing forbearance, sanctified self restraint can help us when we’re dealing with one another, to be truly forgiving, to send the sins away, put them into the hands of the Lord. Let us by God’s grace, work on these things as Jesus taught us to do, and may the Lord add His blessing.

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