Leadership for the Disciples of Christ

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Short Summary
The discourse emphasizes the importance of effective leadership, distinguishing it from mere management, and highlighting the need for leaders to inspire trust and foster relationships. The speaker shares personal experiences and biblical examples to illustrate key leadership attributes, such as having a clear vision, being direct yet kind in communication, and investing in others’ growth. The message advocates for a balance of love and accountability in leadership, encouraging attendees to reflect on their influence and improve their relationships within their communities.

**Keywords:** Leadership, Management, Trust, Relationships, Vision, Communication, Biblical Examples, Community

Long Summary
### Detailed Summary of Leadership Discourse

Introduction and Gratitude
– The speaker expresses gratitude for being invited to the convention and acknowledges the importance of the audience, referring to them as the “called and chosen faithful.”
– Highlights the joy of the weekend and the relationships formed, particularly noting brother Larry and sister Debbie.

Theme of Leadership
– The focus of the discourse is on leadership, reflecting on personal experiences in leadership roles over the past 20 years.
– Differentiates between management and leadership, emphasizing the need for leaders to inspire rather than simply instruct.

John Maxwell’s Influence
– References a quote from John Maxwell about the long journey to becoming a good leader, illustrating that effective leadership takes time and experience.

Definition of Leadership
– The speaker proposes a personal definition of leadership: “Taking on the responsibility to influence others to follow a particular direction or suggestion.”
– Emphasizes that trust and respect are essential for effective leadership.

Integration of Spiritual Life and Leadership
– Discusses the challenge of balancing spiritual and professional leadership roles.
– Encourages the audience to view their roles as servants within the kingdom of God, especially in light of the shrinking community.

Importance of Vision and Purpose
– Effective leaders possess a clear vision and motivate others, fostering enthusiasm and commitment.
– Cites Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount as a prime example of visionary leadership, providing hope and comfort to his audience.

Communication Style of Leadership
– Stresses the importance of delivering both good and bad news directly yet kindly, enhancing trust and respect.
– Encourages leaders to give feedback with kindness, making it easier to correct issues without damaging relationships.

Building Relationships
– Highlights the significance of establishing personal connections within leadership, especially among elders.
– Cites Paul’s letters as examples of how to foster relationships through gratitude and acknowledgment of others’ contributions.

The Role of a Shepherd
– Draws parallels between good leadership and shepherding, emphasizing care for the flock.
– References John 10:11 and Ezekiel 34:2 to illustrate the responsibilities of leaders to nurture and protect their community.

Personal Influence and Accountability
– Emphasizes the idea that leaders must reflect on their behaviors since their actions set the tone for those they lead.
– Encourages self-reflection to identify areas for personal improvement, stating that leaders’ behaviors significantly influence their followers.

Mentorship and Development
– Advocates for investing time in mentoring and developing others, pointing out that every individual’s success is a collective victory.
– Shares personal anecdotes of how mentorship impacted his life, highlighting the importance of recognizing and nurturing others’ gifts.

Biblical Examples of Leadership
– Discusses the dynamics between Paul and Barnabas, illustrating different leadership styles and the value of both correction and support.
– Emphasizes that both leaders can be blessed in their efforts, reinforcing the idea that different approaches can lead to fruitful outcomes.

Key Takeaways for Effective Leadership
– People remember how leaders make them feel, emphasizing the emotional aspect of leadership.
– Feedback should be viewed as a gift, and leaders must be approachable to foster open communication.
– Effective leaders should balance directness with kindness, ensuring that their messages are both clear and compassionate.

Final Reflections
– Closes with a call to action for leaders to reflect on their influence and to strive for improvement in their relationships and leadership styles.
– Expresses appreciation for the opportunity to share insights and encourages ongoing dialogue among the audience.

### Bible Verses Mentioned
1 Corinthians 2:9: “Eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and neither has it even entered into the hearts of man what God has in store for those who love him.”
Matthew 5:13: “You are the salt of the earth, but if the salt has lost its savor, wherewith shall it be salted?”
Philippians 2:12-13: “Work out your own salvation with fear and trembling; for it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.”
John 10:11: “I am the good shepherd: the good shepherd giveth his life for the sheep.”
Ezekiel 34:2: “Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves. Should not the shepherds feed the flocks?”

This summary encapsulates the core themes and insights on leadership provided in the discourse while highlighting biblical references that reinforce the messages shared.

Transcript

You are the called and chosen faithful who have made it all the way to the end of convention. It’s so unfortunate for everybody else who stops short. That’s the message. Well, I don’t know about you. I assume that your thoughts are very similar to mine and that you have very much enjoyed this weekend.

I am very grateful for being invited down here. I’m very grateful for brother Larry and sister Debbie and what a wonderful weekend with them it’s been, and so I. I’m leaving feeling filled now towards the end of the age, you know, we see so many things that are blessings. One of them is the relationship between humans and animals.

Has anybody else noticed that? Do you appreciate that?

Well, there’s an elephant for you now. Can they see my PowerPoint online? Okay, wonderful. Today we’re going to talk about leadership, and, you know, I’ve seen some talks that I thought were really helpful from the brethren over the past six months to a year where they were talking about certain aspects of leadership.

And I’ve been in leadership now for 20 years, and it’s just not what you think it is until you do it. Brother Homer can tell you he did it for a long time. I think several in here have done it for a long time. There’s a difference between being a manager and being a leader, and, you know, I heard a quote from a gentleman named John Maxwell.

I don’t know if anybody’s ever heard of John Maxwell, but he’s a pretty talented writer in leadership today. You know, he’s written, gosh, probably 40 or 50 books, and he’s found this miraculous way to keep writing books with essentially 10 books worth of content and just spreading it into 40 others. But he did say something that caught my attention really well a long time ago, and he said he was in front of an audience, he’s speaking to a group, and he was talking to a young man who was in his early 20s, and he’d just been promoted.

And he said, oh, you’re a manager? And he said, yes, I’m a manager. He said, that’s great. He said, are you trying to be a leader or manager? He said, well, I’m trying to be both.

He said that that’s great, and he said, keep at it. In about 20 years, you might be pretty good.

And I thought to myself, when I heard that I was probably about 25, and I thought, what? 20 years and you’ll be pretty good. I was thinking, in 20 years, I was hoping to be retired.

That’s really true. I’m 47. Now, I’ve been a leader since I was 25. Well, I’ve been a manager since I was 25. I’ve been trying to be a leader since I was 25.

It’s so much more challenging than you think, and so we’re going to talk about some of the aspects of that today. I’m going to give you some of my personal thoughts towards the end, but I really want to tie them into the scriptures where we see strong leadership, where it may not stand out to you, that that is an intentional move, a leader, and so we’ll go into it. So we’re going to explore the essentials of impactful leadership according to the scriptures.

So what is leadership now? If you look it up online, I don’t think you’re going to find, at least for me, I like to find answers that don’t include the word you’re trying to define, and so you look it up and the Oxford Language Dictionary says, the action of leading a group or people. Okay, great. So you’re telling me the leadership is leading.

That’s not necessarily helpful. Merriam Webster. The officer position of a leader, the capacity to lead, the act or instance of leading. Again, not. Mm, mm, not super helpful.

So I decided I’m just, you know, after looking at 3, 4, 5 definitions, I’m just gonna throw my own in there. So forgive me if you don’t like it, but taking on the responsibility to influence others to follow either your or any particular direction or suggestion, and if they follow it, it’s because they respect your opinion and they trust you, and so the whole conversation comes around, how do you get people to trust you? How do you get people to be moved by what you say or at least be willing to give it a shot? Well, if he said it, it’s at least worth thinking about right now.

When you’re a boss or a manager, you can tell people what to do. But if you want to be an effective leader, you want them to want to trust you and therefore want to try it. Okay, and why discuss it? Just a few thoughts.

One, some of us are leaders at work today, and we struggle with that toggling back and forth between our spiritual life and our work life, and we need to find a way to combine them. Number two, some of us are leaders at church, and number three, we are all applying for leadership positions in the kingdom. That’s essentially what you’re doing, brethren, is you’re saying, lord, I want to be the best servant for you, and therefore I want to be the best servant leader. For others in the kingdom.

Okay, and some other reasons for us specifically, now our numbers are shrinking, right? Just yesterday we hear of two brethren or three. Over this weekend, two brethren passed away, one more had a stroke, and so they’re in our thoughts and our prayers.

But we know we’re at the end of the age, and that means we all need to use our gifts. We need to be well rounded as best as possible. Now, it’s always been that way, but now more than ever because we need each other, and so with less members to do the work, we need everyone to do their best in witnessing support of the brethren, whether it be emotional, financial, spiritual contribution to class activities, and as elders, we need to be especially careful of the examples that we set.

And so the leadership topics that we’ll talk today is we’re going to talk about vision and purpose. That is a big thing. We’re going to talk about building relationships, shadow of a leader, and what does that mean? Mean developing and investing in others, and then just a few little extras.

And so I hope that these are helpful tips, and if you disagree with anything I say, I’m going to the airport almost right after, so you’ll just have to hold. I’m kidding. I would love to hear your feedback. So I like this.

I like this statement here. Effective leaders possess a clear vision and the ability to motivate others, fostering an environment of enthusiasm and commitment. Now, can anybody here think of a time where Jesus did that? I’m going to show you in a minute, and you might be surprised how quickly it comes out when we teach your witness, you know, it’s not the fine points of the details of the doctrines that people are going to be attracted for. It’s the vision of love for all people, all things in heaven and earth being united in advance.

That’s what people want to hear. Only us strange ones really want to get down into the details, and I love it. But when you’re witnessing to somebody, you know, it’s not like, man, you know, I see the world the way that it is today, and it’s really tough. Well, have you studied the church’s part in the sin offering?

Right. You remember what it’s like. That makes me feel really good. They’re going to look at you, and it’s the big.

It’s the big picture, and so the first recorded speech that Jesus gives is what Sermon on the Mount? He begins his ministry by doing what? He’s painting a picture. It’s vision, its purpose.

Blessed are they or Brother Byron, happy are they that are poor in spirit, that mourn, who are meek, who hunger and thirst for righteousness, who are merciful, who are pure in heart, who are peacemakers, who are persecuted. This is Jesus telling us things are going to change, okay? And for his audience, again, he has an audience, and they’re saying, this is a leader we can follow when he says these things. Keep in mind this is what the people by and large are feeling, and so when he says them, they’re immediately identifying with them, saying, he understands how I’m feeling.

The other thing is that his appeal to the audience has a dual effect. Number one, a few of the attributes that are listed there. People are going to see a few of those and say, that’s how I feel. That’s what I’m going through. Maybe that’s what I’m good at.

I’m good at a couple of these things, and then you’re going to read another one that says, some of those things I struggle with, and so what is he doing now? He’s not criticizing anybody, but the dual message of his leadership is laying out all these wonderful things, and so when you’re listening to it, you’re saying, oh, I feel really good about this half.

You know, this half I need to work on, and so Jesus is motivating them without doing much at all to say, these are the things I appreciate, and here are some other things that I can put my attention to. When we read the Fruit of the Spirit, do you feel the same way? I feel pretty good about this half. This half over here, I’m still working on.

And he hasn’t given a single criticism or critique. He’s just laying it out, and we’re intrinsically motivated to appreciate what gifts we have and to improve on the ones that we don’t. I love that. I think that was intentional.

He made them feel comforted for the things they identified with and motivated to improve on the others. The other thing is that leaders give the bad news with the good, and there’s very little sugar coating. They say it with kindness, but leaders are direct, and I will put this note out when we hire people, and I’ve hired a lot of people, and I said, how do you like to take feedback?

Do you like direct feedback? Do you like roundabout feedback? And they all say, give me the direct feedback, and then you give them the direct feedback.

Do they? How do they take it? No, because we have this impression in our mind that direct means intense or stern. No, direct just means plain. But you can be direct and kind.

Can you and most people have a lot of trouble separating the two. You can be kind and you can be direct. Hey, I have to be honest with you. I didn’t really appreciate what you did. I just had to be honest with you.

That’s how it made me feel. I’m sorry if that offends you, but that’s how I feel. That’s powerful. It’s also non offensive, Right. Sometimes we’re so nervous to give feedback where we think there could be any friction, that it’s like we keep it inside and we let it sit and fester and fester and fester and then all of a sudden we can’t take it anymore and we let it out and we offend people.

Right? So the ability to have a relationship with somebody and give them feedback and not make too big of a deal of it, but let it be known right away is helpful. Okay? But listen to what he says. He goes from these beatitudes, he goes directly to.

If you call your brother a fool, if you have a member of your body that is sinful and you don’t cut it off, you’re going to be in danger of the Valley of Hinnom. Right off the bat. Plainly, directly there is a good. There’s a picture we’re aiming for. There’s something to avoid, right?

So he’s not just trying to give everybody the warm and fuzzies. He’s telling it like it is, in his loving and gentle way. Here’s a good one. If someone slaps you on the right off of them, the left, right. Can you imagine them saying, I’m going to get slapped?

Right? He’s not trying to tell everybody this sugary message. Come follow me, come follow me. He’s just saying, this is how it’s going to be, and if you experience these things, you are blessed.

Pray for those who persecute you. Again, this is a new message, okay? Tell the truth with enthusiasm. Don’t feel the need to sugarcoat the sacrifices that you need to make to be faithful. They are worth it.

So when somebody’s talking about consecration or they’re talking to you about, you know, anything in their walk, you can tell them the truth and you can take the bad with the good, and you can do the same thing at work. If somebody has to do something where the reward is great, but it takes hard work to get there. Don’t leave out what hard work it’s going to be. Don’t interview somebody and say, oh, you’re going to love it.

It’s going to Be great, and then they come into the job and you tell them, now you got to do these 36 line items, and they’re like, wait, what? It’s the same thing with our walk with the Lord. Sometimes we want to sugarcoat it, sometimes we can’t.

And it is what it is, right, brother Homer?

What to reach for and what to avoid. The message of God is both strict and loving. It’s both fierce and patient, and one of the great examples of that is, well, I’m thinking to myself, a slide early. But he tells us the wonderful things to aspire to.

And one of the scriptures he gives us, that, which I think is one of my absolute favorites is First Corinthians 2, 9. He says, as it’s written, eye has not seen and ear has not heard, and neither has it even entered into the hearts of man what God has in store for those who love him. There’s a quote from a leader in the world that I really like. It doesn’t matter what his name is, and it doesn’t matter what he did, but his message, and he did the work, he succeeded.

And what he said to his team was, I’m not telling you that it’s not going to be difficult. I’m telling you that it’s going to be worth it.

That is a message that we can take directly into our lives. But he also tells us about the dangerous path to avoid. Matthew 5, 13. Again, same chapter. You’re the salt of the earth, but if the salt has lost its savor, where is it going to be salted?

It’s going to be good for nothing. Now, that’s a sobering message, and he gives it the good with the bad. Philippians 2, 12 and 13, I think, is a wonderful display of this message. I absolutely love these Scriptures.

Now, when you first look at them, verse 12 is not one that you just read from the first. Like when you’re young and you’re reading through the Scriptures and you read, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, you don’t read that and say, oh, how refreshing, how comforting. I love being fearful and shaking in my boots, right? But the other part of that message is in verse 13, God Himself is working in you. He’s investing his efforts, his time, his love in you.

And keep in mind that before verse 12 is read in chapter 2, in verse 6 of chapter 1, he’s already said, God will finish the work that he started in you, and so, again, it’s this balance that you’re in between, right? Work out your own Salvation with fear and trembling. This is serious stuff, and recognize what’s happening in your life.

The Creator of the universe tells you in advance he’s going to make it okay. But what you have to do is understand that and give your best efforts, and so one of the ideas that I like is that God doesn’t necessarily gives us A’s, B’s, or C’s. He gives us ease for effort. If you put all of your effort in, you will be faithful in the end.

That’s my opinion. It comes down to how much you put in. If you put in everything you’ve got, what this scripture is telling you is that God will absolutely, 100%, without a doubt, take care of the rest. If you don’t put in all of your effort, there’s going to be a question mark. Okay, so let’s talk a little bit about building relationships.

And this message is probably. Well, it’s for everybody. As for elders, what I want everyone to think of, and for anybody who might listen to this, either here or online, is that a lot of the times the people that we elect are elders are really good students. They’re really good at studying. They’re really good at observing the fine details.

They’re really good at putting things together, and what I found in my career is that most people who have that talent don’t necessarily have the corresponding talent of. Of making everybody feel warm and fuzzy. Okay. It’s very rare that you see somebody that does both.

And so we need to be cognizant of that. Right. Especially as elders for most other people. Like, I did this personality test a couple years ago that I really liked. I might do it for the Brethren at some point because it’s so interesting.

And they put people into four quadrants, and one of the quadrants is a blue, and, and these are the people where the feelings are more important than anything else, and that’s the majority of mankind. The majority of people are in that blue category.

The majority of our elders are in the green category, where we say, give me the facts, give me the proof. Right. Or in the gold category, that says we’ve got to follow this procedure. Right. So as elders, let’s be specifically careful about this one.

Good leaders connect and they build relationships. They care about those who lead as if people mattered. They want their people to succeed. They look after their people like a flock. They protect and they defend their people against opposition and obstacles to the best of their ability.

Let’s look at Paul’s greetings. I think this is a really good evidence of the relationship aspect that Paul attempts to build. I thank my God always on your behalf. I cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers. I thank my God upon every remembrance of you always in every prayer of mine for you all making requests with joy.

We give thanks to God the Father, the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you. We give thanks to God always for you, making mention of you in our prayers, remembering without ceasing your work of faith and labor in love and patience and hope. We are bound to thank God always for you. Unto Timothy, my own son in the faith, to Timothy, my dearly beloved son, Grace, mercy and peace from God the Father and Jesus Christ our Lord. I thank God whom I serve for my forefathers with a pure conscience that without ceasing I have remembrance of thee in my prayers day and night, greatly desiring to see thee, being mindful of thy tears, that I may be filled with joy now he wrote half of the epistles in the New Testament and this is how he started, just about every single one of them.

And even though it’s such a small portion, when you look at the consistency of it and you can feel the desire in his heart and the love in his heart for his brethren. That’s such a wonderful example. Before we get to the details, go to the heart. I find that as I visit around, I really enjoy doing what I do from the standpoint of connecting with people. I love that.

And I’m very at work. I’m very numbers driven. I’m very success driven. I really want to succeed. I feel like that’s part of my responsibility.

I’m really not okay if I’m not doing well. I’m that kind of guy. But when I show up and I visit people who I only get to see once or twice a year, the first 15, 20, 30 minutes of the visit is just hanging out with them. It’s hugs, it’s how you’ve been, it’s tell me about you, how’s your family? How are things going?

I saw how you did this, this, and this over here. I thought that was really great. How did you do it? There are things to correct, there are things to discuss, but nothing that we discuss is going to be more important than that relationship. Does that make sense?

And I think that we do a pretty good job here. This one, you know, for the elders especially, I think it’s easier for us to miss that than some of the others. So I wanted to make sure that I brought that up when we look at shepherding, you know, Jesus said In John, chapter 10, verses 11, I’m the good shepherd, and the good shepherd lays down his life for his sheep. He who is a hired hand and not a shepherd who does not own the sheep.

He sees the wolf coming and he leaves the sheep and flees, and then the wolf gets him. He flees because he’s a hired hand. He cares nothing for the sheep. Ezekiel 34:2 tells us who he’s talking about.

He says, son of man, prophecy against the shepherds of Israel. Prophecy, and say unto them, thus saith the Lord God unto the shepherds. Woe be to the shepherds of Israel that do feed themselves. Should not the shepherds feed the flocks? Neither have you healed the sick.

Neither have you bound up which was broken. Neither have you brought again that which was driven away. Neither have you sought that which was lost. But with force and with cruelty ye have ruled them. The problem with the Pharisees is that their faith was mainly about their intellectual parts, right?

It was their studies, right? Turns out they didn’t even study the right way. But that was the most important part of their faith, and they left the people out to dry. Have we sometimes also done the same thing? You better believe it.

We’re guilty of exactly the same things. Not everybody at all times, but some of us at some times have put the doctrines above the relationship. We’ve put the teachings of our intellectual fancies above the heart connection that God has been trying to establish with everyone.

I think that’s probably for our age, one of the biggest silent setbacks that we faced. Although it’s not so silent to the people who have left our fellowship because they said we weren’t very nice, and there have been like, if you look for it, you will find people that have said, you know, they were really nice as long as you agreed with what they believed. But the minute you disagreed with them, they weren’t very nice. The intellect was more important.

When our brethren struggle and they stop coming to meeting, do we go after them? Do we let them know we love them? We’re not letting you go. If someone leaves the class who we disagreed with on something, are we more okay with letting them go? Because, oh, I’m going to be so much more comfortable now that they’re not here.

Are we hired shepherds or are we of the good shepherd? Do we see our brethren as our family? Regardless of. Like, again with your family, you don’t just get to say, I’m not related to you anymore. It’s not possible you can’t do it.

Well, it’s the same thing here. Do we always treat it that way? That’s something that I challenge myself with because I can think of a few times in the past in my heart where, if I’m honest with myself, I’m really not happy with the answer that’s inside, and so I thought that I would share that because this will really stick it right to you. It makes me want to go call some people immediately.

Shadow of a leader. I think everybody’s heard the term.

What I want to let you know is that everything that you’re in charge of is going to reflect you, okay? And I put the picture of a father son here because it’s the best example. You can tell your kids whatever you want to tell them, and it does matter what you tell them, but they’re going to do what you do at some point. Now, it may not be that they follow the Lord the same way, because that’s a spiritual calling, but if you see things in your kids that you don’t like, guess where they got it from, right? I’ve apologized to my kids before.

I’m like, oh, I see that you did that. I’m sorry you got that from me, and you know what they say? Thanks, dad.

That’s fair. If you want those that you’re leading to be better, you be better. If you want those who you are leading to be better, you be better. Nobody wants to fail. Nobody wants to come short.

Now, that doesn’t mean that everything they do is your fault. That would be ridiculous. That’s like no free moral agency. But what I’m saying is your ability to influence people, to nudge them in the right directions is going to hinge on your example, right? If you say somebody, hey, you’re being really inconsistent.

Well, before you say that, right, Let me make this point here. Nobody wants to follow somebody who doesn’t practice what they preach, okay? Nobody cares about what you used to do or how great you used to be before you got promoted. They don’t care. I remember that I was at the top of our store manager scoreboard, right?

Ooh, so nice for me, and then I get promoted, and I walk into the stores of my were peers last week, and now they’re my direct reports, and I’m like, I want to show you how to do it like you did it, and they go, oh, great. They don’t care. They care about the you that they are following now.

And so use this concept to improve, inspect the common factors in your life, work Home and church. What is consistently good, that probably has your influence on it, that might be something that you’re good at and you may not be giving yourself enough credit for. Work, home and church. What’s consistently problematic? Find the golden thread, right?

What opportunities do you improve? Do you see between these three aspects of your life? Guess what? That’s your influence. That’s where you need to improve, right?

So if you see that the group of people, whether it be your family or your ecclesia, the people at work, if they all have a common thing that you don’t like, it could be you, and the good news is you can fix you. Fixing others is much harder, but you can start with yourself, and quite frankly, that may fix a lot of the problems. If you are the only common factor, it’s probably a result of your behavior and influence.

So adjust accordingly. Developing, investing in others. This is a wonderful concept we see all throughout the Scriptures. Every individual victory for the Lord is a collective victory for all of us. So when you help somebody improve in their walk, you help us all.

Spending your time investing in others is a big one. I remember when I was young and I didn’t put this in the, in the slides, and I was thinking about it this morning, of course, as we were having breakfast. I get all my best ideas 15 minutes before I’m about to speak, and I remember Michael Nicora, when I was 14, starting to say, I think you can do this, I think you can do that.

And that blew me away. Here’s an elder who has the love and respect of his whole class, and I’m this wily teenager, right, who. Some people look at it and say, who’s going to get rid of this kid? And he says, you know, I think you’ve got the talent to do this.

It changed my life, right? When I got to Columbus, I was 30. This is the second time to Columbus, about 35, 34, 35, 36, and Todd Alexander taught me how to compliment. When I first showed up, he started giving me compliments.

And I got to be honest with you, I was like, I think he’s just, just saying stuff. I see him giving compliments to everybody. I think he’s just trying to, like, make friends and make people happy. But I can’t give any of his compliments, like credibility. This isn’t true.

That can’t be true. First of all, it’s way too many, and second of all, we don’t know each other that well. Well, it’s been 12 years and he hasn’t stopped.

I Never understood the power of intentionally looking for things to compliment other people on, and once you get in the swing of it, it is addictive, and what I’ll tell you is if you don’t compliment people on a regular basis, start thinking about what you should compliment them on. Don’t make stuff up, right? Like, if you don’t like their shoes, don’t tell them you like their shoes.

If you don’t like their discourse, don’t tell them it’s the best thing you’ve ever heard unless it’s after this discourse.

But if you actively look for things, you’ll find there are so many more things to compliment people on than you realize before, and it feels great to give somebody an honest compliment, and what happens is your mind starts to actively seek out the complimenting process, and people will like being around you when it comes time to give a criticism. You’ll find that they’re actually much more receptive if you do it with kindness, and you don’t have to bang a club to get people’s attention.

Right? I really appreciate about that Todd. It’s genuine and he does it to everybody. But it’s not because he’s just saying stuff to make people feel better. It’s because he is actively observing people and thinking to himself, what is it that they’re good at?

There’s something about them I really like. What is it? And it pops into his head pretty quick because he’s been doing it now for quite a while. I really appreciate that about Todd. So step one, if you’re looking at developing and investing in others, is let go of the desire to do everything yourself and be prepared to give others a chance to do the work.

Step two, start spending some of your time observing. If you want to mentor somebody else or develop somebody else, you know, if you can, if you have a gift, and everybody in here has a gift. So it’s not if everybody has a gift, and if you don’t realize what gift you have, read the end of First Corinthians, chapter 12 in the beginning of First Corinthians, chapter 13, because Paul says, look, it’s nice that some of you can prophesy or heal with hands or do whatever it is that you’re good at. Those are wonderful gifts.

But I do encourage you to seek the best gift, and you’re like, oh, what’s the best gift? And then you turn the page. First Corinthians 13:1, there’s faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of these is love.

That’s the greatest Spiritual gift you can have. So everybody has a gift, right? If you don’t know what yours is, ask your friends will tell you, okay, if you can multiply your gift. If somebody says, man, I really want to get better at that, and you say, oh, I want to help you. If you spend more of your time observing what they do, to say, that I think was great.

I think you did that really well. My first deacon discourse that I gave everybody was there to say, oh, let’s see how the kid does. Michael Nacor is there with a pen and a paper, and I’m like, oh, it’s a little intimidating. Until he told me.

He said, just so you know, I am going to observe what you do and your speaking mechanisms and just give you some best practices. Because he minored in speech. That’s why he was such a good speaker, and so again, when I was young, that’s my mentor, somebody who says, oh, you’re speaking great. I’m not here just to enjoy it.

I’m here to invest my experience into you. So another good example is when Jesus sends the disciples out to preach on their own, right? He’s shown them how to do it, now let them do it. Are they going to make mistakes? Sure.

Mistakes are the learning process. How do you know how to do it right unless you found the 36 ways to do it wrong? That’s true. Thomas Edison said, I found over 800 ways to not make a light bulb. Okay?

Jesus and the disciples and the apostles. Mentorship, Paul and Timothy. Mentorship, Elijah and Elisha. Mentorship Barnabas and Mark.

Here’s an interesting spot that I wanted to bring out because it’s not as black and white as some of the other ones. So in Acts 15, we have this scenario where Paul is going to go. You know, he’s setting up these churches. He wants to make sure that they’re good to go, and it says that after some days, Paul said to Barnabas, let us go again to visit our brethren in every city where we preached and see how they do.

And Barnas said, let’s take with them, John, Mark, and Paul says, no, look, the last time that we took him, halfway through, he turned back. I don’t want to take him, and the contention was so sharp between them that they departed asunder from one another, and Barnabas took Mark and sailed to Cyprus.

And Paul took Cyprus, Silas, and he went on his own way. So here’s the question. Who was right?

Who’s the better leader?

It’d be easier to say, it must be Paul, right? Barnabas wasn’t an apostle.

Paul versus Barnabas, the great contention. Well, Barnabas showed a lot of patience and understanding. Yeah, he made a mistake, but I think he can do it right, and Paul says, look, we need the person that I take. I need him to be able to do the work that’s in front of us.

I imagine he was a little hot about it because he said, I need to rely on the person I take with me. Can you imagine how Mark felt, right? They’re about to get on the boat. He’s probably got his stuff packed. He’s probably, like, getting ready to get on the boat.

And there’s two men over there arguing. I don’t want him. I think we should take him. I don’t want him. I think we should take him, right?

What a terrible dance to witness. But the experience is really good. Why was it good? It was good for Mark because he did cause a problem for Paul, didn’t he? He did turn halfway back.

He did make it seem like maybe he couldn’t be trusted to go on that mission. Now, that’s direct feedback. Now, I don’t know if this was the right way to do it. I think. I think if there was somebody there who understood how to observe people and see their gifts, the conversation might have gone easier.

It didn’t need to be contentious. But what I’ll tell you is that both efforts were certainly blessed, weren’t they? Paul got his missionary work done and so did Barnabas, and just so you remember, Mark wrote the gospel. So when Paul says, hey, let’s go out there and witness and make sure these people are okay, Mark wrote one of the four books that’s been translated down through the ages, a couple thousand years now.

Both of their work was greatly blessed, and so it’s really not who was better. It’s that each people had different gifts and different strengths, and there were two leaders. One there to show correction, one there to show support.

And as a group, sometimes we need both of that. But what I’ll tell you as a leader is don’t look at the example of Paul and think, yes, I need to be strict with other people. I think he could have handled it a different way. Just because Paul was an apostle doesn’t mean that everything he did was perfect.

So here’s just a few little extras that I’ve learned over my years as a leader that I thought I would mention. Okay? Number one, people won’t always remember what you said, but they will remember how you made them feel. If you want to influence People, that is a must. People need to know that they feel appreciated before you start giving them directions on what to do.

The words of a leader are loud. You don’t. If you’re given a critique, you don’t need to speak very loud. You don’t need to show them any anger. You don’t need to show them any frustration.

Your words will echo. The echo of your words will last for a long time, especially the higher up of a position that you are. Number two, feedback is a gift. Be approachable. Okay, there are little rumors that go around from time to time as Bible students.

Is that fair? Have we heard of the grapevine, right? Is there a brother or sister? You know, you’re like, no, I don’t want to tell them that. Because if I tell them that over, they’re going to know it in this country and then they’re going to hear it in this state.

And that’s happened. That’s happened to me. I made the decision to consecrate when I was 18. I didn’t tell anybody particular the emblems. I did it in the very back of the class so that nobody else would see, because it was a private moment between me and the Lord.

I fly to Albuquerque five days later and everybody knows.

But the point of me bringing that up is that, what’s the right way to say this? No matter who you are, no matter how kind you are or think you are or whatever the case is, if you’re in a leadership position, or quite frankly, if you’re a human being, at some point you’ve offended somebody, at some point somebody’s offended you. The question is, do you have a relationship with that person that’s good enough that they feel like they can tell you? Or for the next 20 years, are they going to say you’re that jerk that made them really upset? I’ll never forget they said that thing.

I’ll never forget that they made me feel that way. Those things remain. But if your relationship is good and they can approach you, you can say, I’m so sorry. So make sure you’re that person who is approachable. Listen, when somebody has something to tell you, thank them for letting you know what it was.

It takes courage to give that feedback, and even if you disagree with it, tell them you’re going to think about it. Hey, thanks for telling me that. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m going to have to think about that, right?

Why I said it, what my thought was at the time, how I acted, how it came Across. I might have more questions for you later because I’d really like to get better at that, and this is crucial. It has less to do with who’s right. It has more to do with, are you supportive?

Do you love me? Because if you love me, that means that when I come to you and I say, hey, this offended me, you’re not going to tell me to kick rocks all the way to the beach and pound sand when you get there, and unfortunately, that is the response that we have had from the world and sometimes from the brethren, and if you’ve done it, don’t kick yourself too hard, but correct the problem.

So last but not least, feedback is always an art. I want you to think about Nathan and David. How was that feedback given? David killed a guy. He committed adultery, he got her pregnant, and then he killed the husband.

You can say it nicer, but let’s not mince words. That’s what he did. What was the feedback like?

Did God give him, strike him with lightning right away? No. Even though that’s what David did to Uriah? Right. God sends Nathan at the right time.

I don’t think it was right away. It could have been weeks or months later, and he gives this analogy, hey, I got to bring something to your attention. There’s this guy, he’s got like 100 sheep, and there’s this other guy who’s got one sheep, and the guy with the hundred sheep saw the one sheep and really liked it and killed the guy to take the sheep.

What should we do about it? Oh, we’ve got to kill him. He goes, it was you, right? The way that you give feedback sometimes will make the difference between whether or not reconciliation is quick and easy or long and painful. So these are just some thoughts on leadership that I wanted to present to everyone today that I saw in the scriptures.

And I thought, you know, these are really good examples that stand out, and thank you so much for having me at this convention. I have really loved seeing everybody, and may the Lord add his blessing.

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