Moving Through Different Spaces

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Short Summary
The discourse emphasizes that love and spiritual maturity involve recognizing and navigating different relational spaces with wisdom, understanding that not every space or person can fulfill all our emotional needs. Drawing on Jesus’ example, it teaches that while we are called to love faithfully and serve others, we must anchor ourselves in God’s unchanging presence to remain free from dependence on human approval, allowing us to love wisely, forgive, and carry hurt without being defined by it. This clarity enables mature love that is both tender and discerning, freeing us to engage with others without losing ourselves.

Long Summary
Detailed Summary: “Moving Through Different Spaces with Spiritual Maturity”

Introduction: Learning from Life, Not Just Theory
– Meaningful spiritual insights often arise from lived experience, wrestling, prayer, and gradual understanding with God’s help.
– Reference to a prior talk titled *Six Loves, One Heart* emphasizing that love expresses differently in various situations yet stems from one heart.
– Spiritual maturity involves recognizing that we don’t engage every part of life or relationship in the same way.

Different Spaces in Life and Relationships
– Life comprises various spaces: work, family, service, friendship, conflict, rest, and the inner heart space.
– Each space offers different experiences—some bring closeness, others distance; some demand giving, others waiting.
– Human desire to be seen, recognized, and to belong can lead to frustration when unmet.
– Example: At a workplace, small moments reveal expectations for acknowledgment. Lack of response may trigger feelings of invisibility or doubt.
– Question raised: Are spaces broken, or are expectations misplaced? Possibly some spaces are just not designed to provide certain things (e.g., deep relationship or emotional safety).

Biblical Foundation: Jesus’ Movement Through Different Spaces
– Jesus exemplifies perfect love, wisdom, and peace as He moves through varying contexts.
– He is faithful and loving but does not relate identically to every person or situation.
– He serves without being controlled by expectations and maintains oneness with the Father.
– Spiritual maturity is learning to love wisely—serving without losing oneself, being present without demanding deep emotional response everywhere.

Six Biblical “Spaces” Identified in Jesus’ Life

1. Space of Need (Mark 1:35-38)
– Jesus heals crowds and meets great need.
– Yet he withdraws to pray and chooses to move on rather than staying to satisfy all demand.
– Lesson: Not every space of need is a space of personal assignment; service must be guided by God’s calling, not just by demand.

2. Space of Chosen Closeness (Mark 3:13-14)
– Jesus calls the twelve disciples to be *with* Him before sending them out.
– Distinction between crowds (who receive miracles and teaching) and disciples (who receive intimacy and formation).
– Closeness is intentional, shaped, and faithful—not every relationship is or should be deep.

3. Space of Deeper Understanding (Matthew 13:10-11)
– Jesus uses parables with crowds but explains deeper truths only to disciples.
– Not all truths are given equally to everyone at all times.
– Practical teaching: We don’t need to explain or reveal everything to everyone; discernment saves energy and protects relationships.

4. Space of the Father (Luke 5:16; John 5:19; John 8:29)
– Jesus frequently withdraws to pray and be with the Father.
– The Father is His unchanging center amid crowds, disciples, opposition, and mission.
– Spiritual root: If our deepest place is dependent on human response, we are unstable; but if anchored in God, we are free.

5. Space of Shallow Belief and Limited Trust (John 2:23-25)
– Many believed in Jesus’ miracles, but Jesus did not entrust Himself to them.
– Positive response ≠ trustworthy relationship.
– Love and trust differ; trust develops through faithfulness, time, and character.

6. Space of Opposition
– Jesus faces misunderstanding, accusation, testing.
– His responses vary: silence, questions, direct words, withdrawal.
– Proverbs 26:4-5 teaches wisdom in discerning how to respond to folly.
– Spiritual maturity means adapting responses with love and truth, not uniform reactions.

Concept of “Space of Resonance”
– Resonance defined as mutual response and true meeting.
– Not every space or relationship offers resonance.
– Expecting resonance in every space leads to disappointment and hurt.
– Recognizing the nature of each space frees us to serve and be present without bitterness or rejection.

Mature Love vs. Immature Love
– Mature love serves without possessing or demanding reciprocity.
– It remains soft and clear, not dependent or hard.
– False responses include withdrawing, closing off, or becoming cold.
– Jesus exemplifies faithful, loving presence despite rejection and hurt (e.g., praying for forgiveness on the cross).

Dealing with Hurt and Forgiveness
– Hurt is real and acknowledged; wounds are not to be ignored or minimized.
– 1 Peter 2:23 highlights Jesus entrusting Himself to God’s righteous judgment rather than retaliating.
– Forgiveness (Hebrew *naza*): to lift, carry, or bear away pain—not denial, but spiritual transfer of burden to God.
– 1 Peter 5:7 encourages casting anxieties on God because He cares.
– Psalm 56:8 depicts God recording tears, showing tender remembrance.

Practical Application in Daily Life
– Avoid loading practical help or work moments with hidden emotional contracts.
– Serve faithfully in the actual space without expecting relational restoration.
– Colossians 3:23: “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters.”
– This places human relationships in proper perspective and sanctifies service.

Conclusion: Finding the One Unchanging Place
– No perfect human space exists where we are always fully seen or met.
– The goal is to navigate different spaces anchored in God, like Jesus:
– Serving crowds without ownership,
– Walking with disciples but rooted in the Father,
– Facing opposition without bitterness,
– Entrusting suffering to God,
– Loving fully with wisdom.
– This leads to freedom *for* love, not freedom *from* love.
– Final encouragement:
– What is unseen or unacknowledged is not lost or forgotten.
– God remembers, carries, and loves us through Christ with inseparable love (Romans 8:38-39 implied).
– May we discern wisely, serve faithfully, love maturely, and find our true center in God.

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Key Bible Verses Referenced:

– Mark 1:35-38 – Jesus withdrawing to pray despite crowd’s need.
– Mark 3:13-14 – Jesus appointing twelve to be with Him.
– Matthew 13:10-11 – Parables and mysteries given selectively.
– Luke 5:16 – Jesus withdrawing to pray.
– John 5:19 – Jesus doing only what He sees the Father do.
– John 8:29 – Jesus doing always what pleases the Father.
– John 2:23-25 – Jesus not entrusting Himself to those who believed only superficially.
– Proverbs 26:4-5 – Wisdom about responding to fools.
– 1 Peter 2:23 – Jesus entrusting Himself to God when reviled.
– 1 Peter 5:7 – Casting anxiety on God.
– Psalm 56:8 – God recording tears.
– Colossians 3:23 – Working heartily as for the Lord.

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This discourse beautifully integrates lived experience with biblical wisdom, teaching that spiritual maturity involves discerning the nature of different life-spaces, loving wisely, serving faithfully, holding hurt with God, and anchoring our identity and worth in the unchanging presence of God rather than in fluctuating human response.

Transcript

I have learned that some of the most meaningful things we can share do not come from theory. They come from life. They come from things we had to walk through, wrestle with, pray about, and slowly understand. With God’s help.

Last year I was able to share a talk called Six Loves, One Heart. It was about the thought that love does not always look the same. Love can express itself in different ways, but it can still come from one heart, and in a way, this talk is connected to that.

Because if love can look different in different situations, then maybe spiritual maturity also means learning that we do not move through every part of life in the same way.

So today I would like to speak about this. We move through different spaces, and not every space is meant to give us the same thing.

We meet different people, we carry different responsibilities. We serve in different settings. We experience closeness in some places and distance in others. Sometimes we are deeply known. Sometimes we are simply functioning.

Sometimes we are giving, Sometimes we are waiting. Sometimes we are misunderstood, and sometimes we are in a room full of people and still feel that something in us is not being met.

That sounds very human, but I believe it is also deeply biblical. Because when we look at Jesus, we see that he moved through different spaces with perfect love, perfect wisdom, and perfect peace.

He was not the same with every person in every situation, but he was always faithful. He was always loving. He. He was always one with the Father.

And maybe that is where we can learn something.

Not how to become distant, not how to protect ourselves by becoming hard.

Not how to stop caring, but how to love wisely. How to serve without losing ourselves. How to be present, without needing every place to become a place of deep response, and how to discover the one place that never changes.

Let me begin with a very simple everyday moment at my workplace. I once walked into a staff room. It was an ordinary morning. I had just arrived, parked my bike, walked in, and at nearly the same time another person came in. Someone who had come in unexpectedly to help out because another colleague was absent.

And immediately there was a strong reaction in the room. Oh, wonderful that you’re here. We were already wondering how we would manage this. What a relief. There was warmth, relief, energy, appreciation.

And I stood there too. I had also just arrived. I greeted people. Some greeted back, some maybe didn’t notice. Nothing dramatic, nothing terrible, just an ordinary stair through moment.

But sometimes small moments reveal large expectations. Because there are moments when something in us waits for a response. Not applause, not a parade, not a trumpet fanfare. Although, to be honest, once in a while, that would not be completely unwelcome.

But something simpler. To be seen, to be noticed, to feel. I matter here.

And when that response does not come, something inside can begin to speak. Do they even see me? Do they know what I carry? Do they know what I do? Do I belong here?

Maybe your situation is not a workplace. Maybe it is a family setting. Maybe it is an ecclesia. Maybe it is a friendship. Maybe it is a service you have given for years.

Maybe it is a place where you have invested much, and yet the response has not been what. What you hope for, and then the human heart tries to solve it. We explain more, we give more, we become more careful. We try to balance everything.

If we say something difficult, we immediately add three kind of things after it, just to make sure nobody misunderstands us.

We smile more, we invest more, we become more useful, and sometimes we are already very useful, but now we try to be useful in a way that will finally make someone see us. But that is exhausting, and often it does not create the closeness we were hoping for.

So the question Is the space broken? Are the people wrong? Am I wrong? Or is it possible that I am expecting something from a space that is that this space was never meant to give?

This is the thought that slowly became important to me. Not every space is the same. There are spaces of deep relationship. There are spaces of work. There are spaces of responsibility.

There are spaces of simple contact. There are spaces of service. There are spaces of conflict. There are spaces of rest, and there is the inner space of the heart.

And of course, there is the holy space of communion with God.

If we confuse these spaces, I think we suffer.

If we expect deep relationship from a place that is only a workspace, we will be disappointed.

If we expect emotional safety from a place that only offers cooperation, we will feel empty.

If we expect people to give us what only God can give, we will become tired, perhaps bitter, perhaps demanding, perhaps withdrawn.

But if we learn what kind of space we are in, something changes. We do not have to withdraw. We do not have to become cold. We do not have to say, I don’t care anymore. Instead, we can become clear.

And clarity is not the opposite of love.

Sometimes clarity is what makes love possible.

When I began to think about this, I started to look again at Jesus, and I noticed something I had not seen so clearly before. Jesus moved through different spaces. He loved perfectly, but he did not relate to everyone in the same way. That is important.

Sometimes we think love means being equally open, equally available, equally close, equally responsive to everyone.

But Jesus did not live that way. He loved everyone, but he did not entrust himself to everyone. He served many, but he did not stay everywhere. He taught the crowds, but he explained more deeply to the disciples. He was moved with compassion, but he also withdrew.

He was approachable, but not controlled by people’s expectations.

First, there is the space of the crowd. In Mark 1, Jesus heals many people. The whole city gathers at the door. People are bringing the sick and the demon possessed. It is a moment of great need and great expectation.

Then in Mark 1:35, we read that very early in the morning, while it was still dark, Jesus went out to a solitary place and prayed.

Simon and the others searched for him, and when they found him, they said, everyone is looking for you.

That sounds like a very convincing argument.

Everyone is looking for you. There is need, there is demand. There is expectation. There’s opportunity.

But Jesus says in Mark 1:38, let us go into the next towns that I may preach there also. That is remarkable. He does not say, you are right. Everyone is looking for me, so I must stay.

He does not build his mission around the loudest expectation. He does not confuse need with calling.

He serves, but he is not owned by the space. This is very important for anyone who serves, because service can become endless. If we think that every need is automatically our assignment. Jesus had compassion, but his compassion was not chaos. Jesus was available, but not endlessly available.

Jesus responded to need, but he was led by the Father.

So here’s one lesson. A space of need is not always a space of assignment.

That is not lack of love. That is spiritual wisdom.

Second, there is the space of chosen closeness. In Mark 3, 13, 14, we read that Jesus went up into a mountain and called those whom he wanted, and they came to him, and he appointed 12 that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach. That phrase is beautiful, that they might be with him.

Before they were sent, they were with him.

There is a difference between being helped by Jesus and being formed closely with Jesus.

The crowds received miracles. The disciples received nearness.

The crowds heard teaching. The disciples walked with him.

The crowds came and went. The disciples were invited into a deeper space.

This does not mean Jesus laughed to crowd less. It means closeness has shape.

Not everyone in the same place. Not everyone is in the same place in our life, and not everyone should be. That may sound obvious, but many hearts suffer because they try to make every contact into closeness. We meet someone, we have a good conversation. We feel warm and quickly.

We may hope maybe this is a deeper relationship. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it is just a good conversation and that is not a failure. A contact space can be good without becoming a closeness space.

A work relationship can be friendly without becoming deep friendship. An ecclesia connection can be meaningful without becoming personal intimacy.

Jesus shows us that closeness is not accidental. It is chosen, shaped and faithful.

Third, there is the space of deeper understanding. In Matthew 13, Jesus speaks to the crowds in parables. Then the disciples come and ask him why he speaks to the people in parables. In Matthew 13:11, he says to them, to you it has been given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given.

That is not a comfortable verse for modern ears. We like everything to be equally accessible to everyone at every moment. But Jesus makes a distinction. The same truth is present, but not everyone receives the same depth.

This teaches us something very practical. We do not have to explain everything to everyone.

That sentence alone can save a person a lot of energy. We do not have to explain every motive. We do not have to justify every boundary. We do not have to open the deepest parts of our heart in every conversation.

We do not have to make people understand something they are not ready or willing to receive.

Jesus spoke truly to the crowds. He did not deceive them. But he gave deeper explanation in another space. That is wisdom. Sometimes we suffer because we keep explaining ourselves in the wrong space.

We believe. If I explain it better, then they will understand me. If I find the perfect words, then they will see my heart. Sometimes that is true. A good communication matters.

But sometimes the issue is not the words. Sometimes the space does not have the capacity for dead depth.

And then more explanation does not bring peace. It only increases exhaustion.

Jesus teaches us that truth can be spoken with integrity and speaking. Still not everything must be opened everywhere.

Fourth, there is the space of the Father. This is the center. Luke 5:16 says he withdrew himself into the wilderness and prayed not once. This was a pattern. Jesus withdrew.

He did not withdraw because he hated people. He withdrew because he lived from the Father.

The crowd was not his center. The disciples were not his center. The opposition was not his center. Even kind of his mission activities, not his center. The Father was his center.

In John 5:19, Jesus says that the Son can do nothing of himself, but what he sees the Father do.

In John 8:29, he he that sent me is with me. The Father hath not left me alone, for I do always those things that please him.

This is the one place that never changes. The Father’s presence, the Father’s will, the Father’s love. The Father’s approval.

Jesus could move through changing spaces because his deepest place did not change.

This is where the whole subject becomes spiritual. Because if my deepest place is human response, I will rise and fall with every reaction. If someone appreciates me, I feel alive. If someone overlooks me, I collapse. If someone misunderstands me, I must repair everything.

If someone praises someone else, I feel smaller. That is a very unstable way to live. But Jesus shows another way. He is completely given to others, but not defined by others. He is deeply present but rooted elsewhere.

He moves through many spaces because he lives from one unchanging place.

And for us this is where God becomes one, our true center. God is the one unchanging place. He sees in secret through Jesus. He shows us the way, and by His Holy Spirit, God comforts, teaches and strengthens us.

Not because every human space becomes safe. Not because every person understands. Not because every wound disappears immediately, but because God does not change.

Fifth, there is the space of shallow belief and Limited Trust. John 2:23 25 is one of the most important passages for this subject. Many people believed in Jesus when they saw the miracles he did. That sounds positive, but then it says, Jesus did not commit himself unto them because he knew all men. Other translations say he did not entrust himself to them.

This is striking. They believed in him, they were impressed by him, they responded to him, and still Jesus did not entrust himself to him. Them. It means positive response is not the same as trustworthy relationship.

This is very important. Sometimes we think if people are friendly, then we should open ourselves. If people appreciate us, then we should trust them. If people respond warmly, then they must be. Then they must be safe.

But Jesus knew the human heart. He was not cynical. He was not suspicious, he was not bitter, but he was clear. He did not build trust only on the emotion of a moment. That is wisdom.

Because some spaces are pleasant but not deep. Some people are friendly but not able to carry what is precious. Some moments are warm but not stable. Jesus teaches us that love and trust are not the same thing. We are called to love, but trust grows with truth, faithfulness, time and character.

6 There is the space of opposition. Jesus also moved through spaces where people misunderstood him, tested him, accused him, and tried to trap him, and Jesus does not respond the same way every time. Sometimes he answers with a question. Sometimes he is silent.

Sometimes he speaks very directly. Sometimes he withdraws. Sometimes he exposes hypocrisy. Sometimes he says almost nothing. This is all important.

Spiritual maturity does not mean giving the same response to every situation. There are Moments for gentleness. There are moments for directness, there are moments for silence, there are moments for explanation, and there are moments for walking away. Proverbs 26:4 to 5 even gives two sayings side by side. Answer not a fool according to his folly, and then answer a fool according to his folly.

At first this sounds very contradictory, but it is wisdom. It means discern the space. What is needed here? What would love look like here? What would truth require here?

What would be useless here?

Jesus never loses love, but he does not give the same form of himself to every person. That is not inconsistency. That is wisdom governed by love.

Now, at this point I want to introduce a word I began to call one kind of a space, a space of resonance. By resonance I mean a place where something truly comes back. You speak and you are heard, you give and something living responds. You are present and there’s real meeting, not perfection, not constant agreement, but a true movement back and forth.

We all need such spaces. God created us for relationship. But here’s the danger. When we expect resonance from every space we suffer. A workspace may be functioning without resonating.

A contact space may be friendly without resonating. A responsibility. Space may need your steadiness without giving much back, a conflict Space may require truth, but not closeness, and if we demand resonance from all of them, we may become hurt and confused. But if we recognize the space, we can say inwardly, this is not a space of resonance.

And this is okay. Not with contempt, not with bitterness, not as rejection, just with clarity, and this clarity can become freeing. Because then I can continue to be kind. I can continue to serve.

I can continue to do what is right. I can continue to be present, not against anyone, but free enough to be for everyone.

This is important because there’s a false version of this message. The false version says, if people don’t give me what I want, I withdraw. I close my heart, I stop caring, I become cold. I protect myself from everybody. That is not the way of Jesus.

Jesus did not become bitter even when rejected. He remained faithful even when misunderstood. He remained true even when abandoned. He remained obedient even on the cross he prayed, father, forgive them. So this is not a message about self protection.

And as the highest goal, it is a message about love becoming mature. Immature love often wants every space to become personal. Mature love can serve without possessing. Mature love can give without demanding the same form in return. Mature love can stay soft without becoming dependent.

Mature love can be clear without becoming hard.

But we also have to speak about the space of Hurt. Because sometimes real hurt has happened. Sometimes we were overlooked. Sometimes we were treated unfairly. Sometimes people said things that wounded us.

Sometimes people failed to see what they should have seen. Sometimes we suffered and nobody seemed to notice. What do we do with that? We cannot simply say, well, that was just the wrong space, and move on. That would be too shallow.

The Bible does not ask us to pretend that wounds do not matter, but it does teach us where they can be carried. 1 Peter 2, 23 says of Jesus, when he was reviled, he reviled not again. When he suffered, he threatened not, but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously.

That is one of the deepest verses for this whole subject. Jesus did not deny the wrong. He did not say evil was good. He did not pretend injustice did not matter, but he entrusted himself to the one who judges righteously. That means what happened is not lost.

It is not unseen, it is not meaningless. It is placed into the hands of God.

This is also connected to the biblical idea of forgiveness. One biblical Hebrew word connected with forgiveness is naza NASA. I don’t know how to pronounce it. It’s not a space association, though.

But it can mean to lift, to carry, to bear away. That is powerful. Forgiveness is not saying it was nothing. Forgiveness is not pretending that pain did not happen. Forgiveness is not removing all consequences at its deepest form, at its deepest.

Forgiveness means, I will not carry this as my master anymore. I place it where it belongs. I release it into the hands of God. 1 Peter 5, 7 says, Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. The care can be cast because God cares.

That is not emotional denial. That is spiritual transfer. I do not have to carry forever what God is willing to carry. Psalm 56:8 says, Record my misery. List my tears on your scroll.

Are they not in your record? This is such a tender image. Tears are not wasted. God remembers what others forget.

Now let us bring this back into daily life. Imagine a difficult relationship in a practical setting. Maybe someone asks for help. Maybe there’s a task to solve. Maybe someone approaches you not as a close friend, but simply because you know how to help.

In the past, we might have loaded that moment with expectation. Maybe this will rebuild relationship. Maybe now they will appreciate me. Maybe now something will change. Maybe now I will finally be seen.

And then we overdo it. We take over everything. We solve too much. We. We become emotionally invested.

And afterwards, if nothing relational comes back, we feel empty again. But there is another way we can remain in the actual space. If it is a workspace, we can Serve clearly in that space. We can say what is needed. We can help appropriately, we can remain kind, we can do the good thing, but without adding a hidden contract.

No silent demand. Now you must give me warmth. No inner bargain. I helped you, so now you must see me. No secret hope that the practical moment will heal everything.

Just faithfulness.

I think that is freedom, and it is not less Christian. It may be more Christian because the service becomes cleaner. It is no longer mixed with the demand to be restored by human response. It becomes more truly, as unto the Lord.

Colossians 3:23 says, Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart. As working for the Lord, not for human masters. That verse becomes very practical here, as unto the Lord. That does not make people unimportant. It puts people in the right place.

So maybe the goal is not to find one perfect human space where we are always understood, always appreciated, always met, and never disappointed. That space does not exist here. The goal is to learn to move through different spaces with a heart anchored in God. Like Jesus. Serving the crowds but not being controlled by them.

Walking with the disciples, but still belonging first to the Father. Facing opposition but not becoming bitter. Suffering injustice, but entrusting himself to God. Loving fully but moving wisely. That is the path and is a beautiful one because it makes us free.

Not free from love, but free for love. Free to serve without demanding. Free to stay kind without losing clarity. Free to forgive, without denying truth. Free to belong to God so deeply that we do not need every space to prove our worth.

Let me close with this. What was not seen is not lost. What was not acknowledged is not forgotten. What was done in love is not wasted. What hurt you does not have to define you.

And what you cannot carry forever you may place into the hands of God.

There is one place that never changes. Not the crowd, not the workplace, not the approval of others, not even our own changing feelings. But God. The God who sees, the God who remembers, the God who carries, the God who loves us through Christ with a love from which nothing can separate us.

So as we move through different spaces, may we learn to discern them wisely. May we laugh without becoming lost. May we serve without becoming bitter. May we be clear without becoming hard, and may we find again and again the one place that never changes with God.

Amen.

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