Who was Jesus talking to when He said take care of my mother? Was James at the foot of the cross with Mary when Christ died?

John 19:26, 27 “When Jesus therefore saw his mother, and the disciple standing by, whom he loved, he saith unto his mother, Woman, behold thy son! Then saith he to the disciple, Behold thy mother! And from that hour that disciple took her unto his own home.” 

The Gospel of John mentions, the disciple that Jesus loved. This phrase in only in the book of John. Commentators agree that this refers to the author, John. He did not want to draw attention to himself. He refers to himself with that phrase in other verses in the book of John (13:23; 20:1, 2, 21:7,8, 20-24 – See below). Since Jesus loved all, it would not be unreasonable to add “the disciples Jesus ESPECIALLY loved.” John 21:24 is clear that John who wrote the book of John is the one referred to as “the disciple.”

There is no mention of James or any of the other disciples at the cross. The night before in the garden of Gethsemane when the mob came to arrest Jesus, his disciples fled. (Mark 14:50  “And they all forsook him, and fled.”)  The Gospels do not record the disciples gathered together again as a group until after Jesus’ resurrection.