Our hearts go out to you. It sounds like you survived a horrible experience. Perhaps you're asking for what purpose does God want you to live? Or you are wondering why you survived while others died? Maybe you are questioning how can you can possibly move on with life? You may be praying to God for peace and wisdom. Or you may be feeling angry with God. Whatever your feel, our Father understands and loves you. He will help you.
God did not direct you to have an accident. Proverbs 10:22, "The blessing of the LORD makes one rich (not financially), And He adds no sorrow with it." But God does permit us to have hard experiences to teach us and to develop us. Just like lifting heavier weights builds muscle, heavy experiences can help us to develop more faith, wisdom, love, obedience, etc. Jesus, Himself, grew through tough trials. Hebrews 5:8 (NLT), "Even though Jesus was God’s Son, he learned obedience from the things he suffered."
All the reasons why God permits something are not within our understanding. God is god. His plans are far beyond our comprehension. Job asked God why he was suffering. After God responded, Job recognized and repented of his error. Job 42:1-6 (NIV), "Then Job replied to the LORD: “I know that you can do all things; no purpose of yours can be thwarted. You asked, ‘Who is this that obscures my plans without knowledge?’ Surely I (Job) spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know. “You said, ‘Listen now, and I will speak; I will question you, and you shall answer me.’ My ears had heard of you but now my eyes have seen you. Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.”
The lesson from Job is we may humbly ask God to help and teach us, but challenging God by asking, "Why?" is inappropriate.
After a wreck, your path forward would probably include the patient, step by step, reconstruction of your life using wisdom and God's law of love. God's wisdom is "peaceable, gentle…unwavering," James 3:17(NASB). Therefore, be gentle with yourself. Be at peace asking God to direct your recovery. "In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He shall direct your paths," Proverbs 3:6. Then you will know "the peace of God, which passes all understanding…" Philippians 4:7 (RSV). Finally, be unwavering or persistent. It will take time. Little by little God will help you to reconstruct your life.
It takes time to heal. If you are feeling overwhelmed, please get some professional help. Good Christian counselors will be very compassionate, gentle, and wise. They can help you to work through overwhelming losses, guilt, and pain. You can and, by God's grace, you will feel better.
